obscurendure

Review - π (1998 - Dir. Darren Aronofsky)

2012-03-08T09:24:00.000Z

π is a joyless psychological thriller and the directorial debut of Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream/Black Swan). It's difficult to say who would like this kind of film. It's bleak, black and white and serious, with choppy, arty camera work and a complete lack of any sense of humour.

The action centres around Sean Gullette's character Max Cohen, who is an introverted, maths geek with psychological problems. Max becomes obsessed with his mathematical hobby when he discovers a new 216 digit constant that apparently unlocks all aspects of the universe. Obviously he doesn't use it to unlock any of these aspects, but instead gets all intense and depressed by the unwanted attention of some mysterious baddies and some mysterious Jewish guys with big beards. It sounds pretty fun-packed entertainment, however it isn't at all.

It's basically slow moving, self indulgent dirge with a plot that goes nowhere of any interest. Admittedly the beardy Jewish guys provide some hope of a modicum of something interesting, but it's too little too late. Having previously never zero rated a film on obscurendure, I'm trying to look for some positives, but there really aren't any. It's rubbish.

0/10

Doccortex

(I can remember seeing this when it was first released. I can't say that I was that impressed either. It started off okay - number theory can be really interesting - but then the camera work got in the way and I can't really remember much happening. Never a good sign. I've just realised that my sadness quotient has risen dramatically with the phrase 'number theory can be really interesting'. Don't get me started on countable and uncountable sets. They're great. As for the Foundations of Mathematics...
- evlkeith)

If you like this you could also try:
Requiem for a Dream, Black Swan, Fermat's Last Theorem - Simon Singh (Book), The Code Book - Simon Singh (Book)

Review - Inside (2007 - Dir. Alexandre Bustillo)

2012-03-03T20:30:00.000Z

Crikey. Where to start with this one? Pregnant ladies in films are generally exempt from being stalked and stabbed by some total nutter. You can see where this is going.

If you've come to this review because you've enjoyed some of the gentler films on obscurendure like This Happy Breed or The Girl Who Leapt through Time, then it might be an idea to give Inside a wide birth. It is definitely anti-gentle.

Sarah (Alysson Paradis) is the pregnant lady in question. She is involved in a nasty car accident very early on in the proceedings and her partner is killed to death. Some months later, the pregnancy is going well (by some miracle). Then a suspect woman turns up at her house who knows her name and knows all about the accident. For some reason she wants to get into the house.

The initial part of the film is quite tense. It is shot in cheapo-budget-o-scope-o-vision, but even so I was looking at the shadowy areas on screen to make sure that nothing jumped out and made me soil my pants (well, a mild spattering maybe, enough to warrant wipeage). Then there is an incident with a fella's chicken nuggets and a rather large pair of scissors. All tension is lost and it descends into a blood bath (not necessarily a bad thing, but in this case it is).

The special make-up effects are serviceable but the CGI baby is shocking. It's not that Inside is very gory, it's just very bloody. By the end Sarah's house, and the other occupants, are drenched in the red stuff.

At two points in the film, I was completely speechless. One point is where what can only be described as a supernatural event takes place. Everything else in the film could feasibly happen, but this bit... it's just completely bonkers. The other moment is one of those 'I can't believe they've filmed that' moments. Not pleasant. I'm not entirely sure whether they were just being shocking for the sake of it, trying to outshock Martyrs (very possibly). Whatever reason they had, it doesn't lend the film an endearing quality and it would have been better without it.

After all that, I did vaguely enjoy Inside (maybe too many vodkas helped - adjust the rating accordingly). You could never accuse it of being boring. So if you're not faint of heart, and not pregnant, then drink some serious quantities of pop and give it a go. You have been warned though.
3/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Martyrs, Frontiers, Switchblade Romance, Three Men and a Baby.

Review - Scorcher (2002 - Dir. James Seale)

2012-02-29T21:47:00.000Z

Think back to the sort of straight-to-DVD films that Channel 5 used to show in an evening: Scorcher is a prime example.

You might think that this is a criticism. Films of this ilk invariably have good intentions but are hampered by low budgets, poor quality scripts and Amiga level CGI effects. This is very true of Scorcher. Even so, it's fun and never dull.

Ryan Beckett (Mark Dacascos) is a Colonel tasked with saving the world from becoming hotter than the extreme temperature that hot drinks are served at in football grounds around the country. Accompanying him on this merry little jape is scientist Julie McGrath (Tamara Davies) and a bunch of loosely sketched dodgy army characters (in a similar vein to Armageddon but with a hundredth of the personality). They have to detonate a nuclear warhead in downtown LA to stop the Earth's plates from shifting. I'm not a world renowned scientist (that may shock you), but I have a strange feeling that the science in this film probably makes no sense whatsoever. Oh well, never mind, at least Mark Dacasos gets to do some of his top ninja moves on people's unfortunate faces...

Erm... he doesn't. He gets to do the odd little bit of grappling, but you wouldn't know from watching this film that he's a death machine in human form, capable of causing pain equal to one thousand paper cuts. In intimate areas. As ever, he's a likeable kind of guy, apart from the dubiously scripted first ten minutes. Even though his acting is never totally convincing, especially in emotional scenes, you're with him all the way. Scorcher reads like a veritable who's who of straight-to-DVD actors (who have previously appeared in fairly big films): the underused, sleepwalking Rutger Hauer as the president (?), John Rhys-Davies as Julie's dad, Mark Rolston (Aliens) as the villainous Special Agent Kellaway and G.W. Bailey (Police Academy) as Mr Combustible Pants, General Moore. Together they lend an air of respectabilty and watchability to the proceedings (sadly any acting talents they may have are lost due to the script).

I've already touched on the dire effects earlier - a classy snowstorm followed by flames shooting up from cracks in a glacier is a particular lowlight - but the music deserves just as much credit for sending this straight to the bargain bins. When it's bombastic standard action fare, it's okay. When it's underscoring emotional scenes, it's shocking. It makes the acting look worse, amazingly. This is proved later on when a tender scene is sans music; it is way more effective.

Watch this with low expectations and a willingness to gloss over its many faults and you may actually quite enjoy it. If you're lucky.
4/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
The Core, Alien Agent, Drive, Crying Freeman.

Review - Rampart (2012 - Dir. Oren Moverman)

2012-02-26T15:31:00.000Z

This sounds like a great idea for a film: Woody Harrelson as a tough/brutal LA cop, described by his own daughter as a bigot, racist, sexist, womaniser and misanthrope (had to look that last one up). What could be better?

And at the start everything is as you'd expect. Dave Brown (Harrelson) breaks in a rookie cop by showing her some of his special moves. It's funny. Then, after Dave gets caught on camera 'apprehending' a perp who just crashed into the side of his car, it all gets very dull and grim.

The script is to blame as it doesn't seem to go anywhere. As things spiral out of control they never get too bad. Dave has a minor descent into drugs and visits a specialist club for people who like to swing and play on roundabouts and stuff. Well, maybe not the roundabout bit. Although there was was an interesting revolving table with a hole cut in the middle on Eurotrash once. Ahem, let's move on. Where was I? Oh yeah, his descent. In Requiem for a Dream everything goes really pear-shaped for the three main characters. Rampart doesn't even approach this. It doesn't even get to apple-shaped.

The humour pretty much disappears after the initial section and I came out of the cinema with a general air of depression. Maybe the point is that Dave doesn't develop as a character or learn anything over the course of the film. He stays just as bigoted and tries to worm his way out of trouble. It doesn't make a satisfying experience though. I went straight home and watched an episode of Bleach (my chosen anime guaranteed to cheer me up after a bleak experience).

Documentary style camera work supposedly pulls you into a film and enhances the feeling of realism. Here, it just irritates and pushes you out of the film. The director clearly has a case of dannybolyism.

The acting is in no way to blame. Harrelson is genuinely worrying in his beliefs, and his attitude to women has to be seen to be believed. Post rumpy-pumpy he has a smoke, covers his eyes with a pillow and ignores his partner. Classy. He knows how to treat the ladies. Harrelson is backed up by some top talent from some top films: Sigourney Weaver (Alien), Steve Buscemi (Fargo), Ned Beatty (Deliverance), Ice Cube (erm, Trespass?), Tim Russ (Voyager?) and Anne Heche (oh, I give up).

Admittedly, I went into this expecting something different. Reflecting on the overall film experience I still can't say I'm very impressed. Watch it if you'd just had a full litre bottle of Lucozade and you've gone a bit giddy. This will knock that happy edge off your mood.
3/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Requiem for a Dream, Bad Lieutenant.

Review - Fitzcarraldo (1982 - Dir. Werner Herzog)

2012-02-23T19:55:00.000Z

At the minute I'm trying to get into into natural yoghurt. It's fairly rank and not to my taste, but strangely, I find myself looking forward to it with my breakfast. Werner films are a bit like this.

The original tale of Fitzcarraldo is about a bloke who pulls a small boat, a dinghy perhaps, over a small isthmus to get to a nearby river. Werner, in a fit of ego to rival Big Jim Cameron, decides to get his Fitzcarraldo to lug a huge steam boat over a blooming great hill/mountain.

Klaus Kinski plays the title role and is completely bonkers. His sticky-up blond hair doesn't do him any favours in the 'looking vaguely normal' stakes. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a comedy but I found myself chortling away at numerous points. The portrait of Fitzy and his brothel owning lady friend is a highlight.

As with all of Werner's output, don't expect anything too pacy. In fact, expect something really slow. Even then you may be disappointed by its ability to drag. As usual. You are rewarded with some gorgeous sights. The steam boat at a forty degree angle, wreathed in mist with the mad-looking Kinski in the foreground is worth the admission price alone.

The final heartwarming shots (well, as heartwarming as Werner gets) show that even though Fitzy isn't overly concerned about who gets injured/crushed to death by a steam boat, his heart is in the right opera-loving place.

Supposedly Kinski's behaviour was so crazed during the making of the film the native extras wanted to kill him. Amazingly Werner talked them out of it. So the rumour goes anyway. I'm surprised Werner didn't let them and film the ensuing murder in his trademark documentary style. Possibly he thought it would have been a tad too exciting for one of his films.
4/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Any Werner film.

Review - Martyrs (Part 2) (2008 - Dir. Pascal Laugier)

2012-02-20T21:20:00.000Z

When Doccortex (I keep asking for his medical certificates, but he is being far too evasive about them) sent me his Martyrs review (see previous post), I thought his rating was a touch harsh. So here we go with our first tag-team review.

The thing that I like about Martyrs is the fact that you think you know what sort of film you're watching and then the rug gets pulled from under your feet. A couple of times. What starts off as a fairly standard, but good, revenge story, mutates into something far more disturbing and deeper by the end. The ending, in particular, provokes much thought; I've got a couple of theories, my preferred one involving eternal hell and Satan jabbing his red hot poker up evil-doers nether regions.

Everything in Martyrs suggests a director making a quality product on a relatively low budget. The make up effects are simple, yet very effective (and wince inducing). The soundtrack by 'Seppuku Paradigm' is excellent. Just as I could watch the intro screen to the Blu-ray of A Bay of Blood for hours because of the music by Stelvio Cipriani, the same applies to Martyrs. The two leads, Morjana Alaoui and Mylène Jampanoï are believable throughout and performed many of their own stunts; Alaoui actually broke three bones, in a safe non-stunty scene, which stopped them filming for a month.

Now to the controversial matter of misogyny. There are some very harsh images of a young woman being systematically beaten, force fed and humiliated. Taken out of context, you just can't defend this. But the first half of the film makes you care about the woman in question; when she is tortured you want: A) her to escape, B) her captors to suffer intensely and C) her captors to suffer intensely due to hedgehog insertion. There is no point - unlike when you cheer on Jason in every Friday the 13th - where you side with the captors and want to see what they are going to do to her next. You want it to end. Couple this with the ending and I think you have a film that explores what people will do for their beliefs and not one that celebrates violence on the female form. (Doccortex thought it was great that I was doing a review championing Martyrs because he gets to look like the sane one, and I get to look like a mentally unhinged psychopath. Thanks for that buddy.)

It isn't a film that is pleasant to watch. It has a great atmosphere but after the credits roll you will probably need a palate cleanser: Antiques Roadshow or Mrs Brown's Boys perhaps. I had to watch an episode of Bleach to return to a happier place. From reading both reviews you will know whether you even want to bother giving this a go or not. Horror fans with strong stomachs will have a stronger chance of liking it than most.
7/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Frontiers, Switchblade Romance, Inside.

Review - Martyrs (2008 - Dir. Pascal Laugier)

2012-02-19T09:26:00.000Z

Martyrs is not exactly a laugh a minute. The film crosses my personal line for when horror stops being enjoyable and starts to become a little worrying. There is none of the humour present in the likes of Frontiers to balance things up and the film becomes a war of attrition to keep viewing in the second half.

Martyrs is definitely a game of two halves. In the first half two past victims of abuse turn up at their abusers' house to exact revenge. There's lots of shooting, violence, dirt and blood, all filmed in a single house, giving the whole film a sense of cheap convenience. None of the first half is particularly enjoyable.

I'd stop the film bang on the half way point and take some half time refreshment as this will be the most enjoyable part of the film for you. Have a cup of Bovril, a cereal bar, a balti-pie, read the back of the DVD and brace yourself for the second half.

The second half is particularly uncomfortable viewing with plenty of torture, abuse, hair cutting and degradation. The main problem is that all this nastiness goes on and on and on. Until we finally get to the plot, which surprisingly helps you to make sense of all the unpleasantness, but not in an especially good way.

After watching this and Frontiers, I've got to say I've got significant concerns about France. The only positives are that none of the actors look like they're acting and the 'cheapness' factor tended to disappear in the second half. I can't wait for the Hollywood remake that is apparently on the agenda!

1/10
Doccortex

If you like this you could also try:
Frontiers, Switchblade Romance, Inside.

Review - Essential Killing (2010 - Dir. Jerzy Skolimowkski)

2012-02-17T21:05:00.001Z

In a similar (ish) vein to The Artist, Essential Killing is a silent film. Well, virtually. It just seems to be missing a little fellow in a penguin suit playing his organ on a little podium as accompaniment. It would certainly help, as it needs a bit of livening up.

Vincent Gallo plays a... well, you never quite know what. Is he an insurgent, blowing up Americans left, right and centre with a rocket launcher or has be been caught in a situation just by accident. He could be a pork butcher from Grimsby for all we know. The director never lets you in on the secret. Regardless, the American army bang him in a Guantanamo Bay style camp and take him for a spot of water-boarding. Bless 'em. They don't go the whole hog and take him to Skegvegas though. In true Fugitive style, he escapes and legs it into a snowy forest. The rest of the story then concerns his hardships and exploits.

As hunger sets in, he pretty much does anything to survive. Even when he gets up to some fairly unpleasant malarkey with a woman breastfeeding her baby, you're still not sure what kind of a character he is: a desperate man willing to ignore his morals to stave off his life-threatening hunger or just a pervert. Like Lupin.

In an interview, the likeable director talks about how he didn't want to make a political film. And he hasn't. It's just a bit dull. You never fully engage with Gallo's character or care what happens to him. His morally ambiguous nature makes him distinctly unappealing. Some politics may have made for a more interesting film; make the character an insurgent and then attempt to get the viewer to care for him. Mmm, challenging stuff.

As it stands, it's not the best example of a silent film; there's not enough visual interest or emotional impact. A shame, seeing as though the director is such a pleasant little fellow.
3/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Rabbit-Proof Fence, Papillon, The Fugitive.

Review - The Sky Crawlers (2008 - Dir.Mamoru Oshii)

2012-02-13T11:20:00.002Z

Not to be confused with the more specialist title The Kerb Crawlers, The Sky Crawlers is a traditional anime/CGI mutated hybrid type thing. Where this worked really well in Summer Wars and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, due to the separation of the disparate worlds the animation depicted, it doesn't work so well here. In fact it is seriously jarring when the film leaps from a quiet hand-drawn scene to a full-on sky battle with fully rendered planes and landscape. It could have gone down the Vexille route of the whole shebang being CGI but The Sky Crawlers ends up as a mish-mash of styles that doesn't suit the tone of the story.

That's my rant out of the way. What's the pesky thing about then? Yuichi is an ace fighter pilot talking part in a staged war. But he's a child. And he'll never grow up. But not in a sugary-candy-floss-sick (try it, it's a right laugh) Peter Pan kind of way. He is one of a strange subset of humanity called Kildren, destined to stay young forever and fight in wars just for a laugh.

The majority of the film is a mystery, centred on the mysterious death (?) of the last pilot to fly Yuichi's plane. Clues are drip fed to the viewer slowly. This is mildly engaging, but if your telly suddenly exploded you wouldn't be too bothered about finding out what happened to the missing pilot. The Sky Crawlers doesn't shy away from asking some tricky questions that I'm not sure I know the answers to. Maybe I can't be bothered to think, or (more likely) I'm too much of a thick northerner to work out the possible ramifications of their philosophical musings.

If the smoking product manufacturing industry ever wanted a cracking advert, they couldn't do better than The Sky Crawlers. The characters are so desperate to have a quality smoke all the time, it's like the scenes surrounding football grounds around the country at chucking out time (or in the toilets during the game).

I vaguely enjoyed this quiet film (in both meanings of the word - vast swathes are musicless). Don't expect Appleseed: Ex Machina and you'll be okay.
5/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Vexille, Appleseed: Ex Machina, Summer Wars, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time.

Intermission - Dinner Party Tips Part 2

2012-02-13T11:20:00.000Z

People are always coming up to me down the local bingo hall and saying, "evlkeith, you hold all these swanky, sophisticated dinner parties for your many friends, can you give me some advice? I'm serving some fancy bread (I may even go down the highly decadent Kingsmill route) and I want to know what sort of cold fat to spread on it. Please, please can you help?"

You have many options. Let's go through them:

Lard. Cheap and cheerful but it does tend to clag up your throat as it goes down. Only use lard if you're really desperate.

Trex. Not bad and it's a lot lower in fat than butter. But who wants low fat when you're supposed to be enjoying yourself? No-one. Next option.

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Because I Have No Taste Buds Due To Drinking A Bottle Of Hydrochloric Acid. Enough said.

Olive oil. Come off it. There's fancy and there's just showing off. You can't even spread it. Next.

Let's face facts, there's only one real option. It has to be the King of cold fats: Lurpak. Once you've tasted it you'll recoil in horror at the mere mention of using a substitute cold fat. Give your guests Lurpak and they will be talking about your dinner party prowess for years to come. Go on, give it a try, you won't be disappointed.

evlkeith

Review - Crying Freeman (1995 - Dir. Christophe Gans)

2012-02-11T12:58:00.001Z

Mark Dacascos (Drive) directed by Christophe Gans (Brotherhood of the Wolf, Silent Hill). If that doesn't make you want to watch Crying Freeman, I don't know what will. Christophe Gans previously directed a section of the horror anthology Necronomicon, but this is his first full length film and it is a lot better than you would expect for a low budget, manga/anime to live-action conversion.

The legendary Mark Dacascos, plays the titular Crying Freeman, Yo, the sole assassin of a shady group called 'The Sons of the Dragon'. Inducted into his role without his consent, he turns out to be a natural killer and the myth of his invincibility grows around him. Dacascos does get to partake in quite a bit of killing during the course of the film. He moves with such deadly intent, closing in for the kill, that I could readily believe he is an assassin in real life. Possibly. Give him a gun, and it's like watching a top games player attain a perfect score on a level. He seems to know where every one of his assailants is coming from and there is no hesitation, and no mistakes, as he dispatches each one.

What does Christophe Gans bring to the proceedings then? There are some stunning images that you just wouldn't expect from a film of its type (and budget). The masked Freeman leaping through the air in slow motion, shooting some ne'er do wells mid-air whilst cars explode in the background is probably the highlight. Brilliant. There is also a really cool shot of a de-shirted Freeman, showing off his massive dragon tattoo, stood in front of a huge statue, as he readies his sword. You can see that Gans has a love for films like this. At times it plays like a straight Yakuza film and at others it is more akin to Hong Kong fantasies, such as, Heroic Trio. The whole film is played straight and the serious tone is ably assisted by the excellent score from Patrick O'Hearn.

Not satisfied with being an action film with a smidgen of fantasy spice, it's also a love film. Emu O'Hara (Julie Condra - Mark Dacascos' real-life wife, they met on this film) witnesses The Freeman on one of his killing jaunts and so, he is sent to kill her. Interestingly, she actually wants him to kill her. You find out why through some narration. Normally, narration can be shocking - see the original cut of Dark City as a prime example of narration spoiling a film by severely dumbing it down - but in this it embellishes the story in a waythat you couldn't otherwise know or work out.

Many other familiar faces crop up in Crying Freeman: Masaya Kato (Drive), Rae Dawn Chong (Commando), Mako (Conan The Destroyer) and Tcheky Karyo (The Core - one of my guilty pleasures), so you know you're in safe hands. All in all, a good film that I keep coming back to. I just wish it was in widescreen. It feels like it should be. Maybe when it comes out on Blu-ray (yeah, right).

And yes, I did notice that our heroine is called Emu, pronounced 'ee-moo'. It's not as if she goes around attacking Michael Parkinson, so don't get your hopes up.
7/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Brotherhood of the Wolf, Drive, Hard Boiled, The Killer.

The film's not in Spanish. I just couldn't resist this trailer.

Review - Timecrimes (2007 - Dir. Nacho Vigalondo)

2012-02-07T09:18:00.000Z

The DVD cover looks really cheap, creepy and disturbing with a red image of a bandaged man holding a pair of scissors in menacing fashion. Timecrimes however, is a perfect example of why not to judge a book by its cover, as it is cleverer and more subtle than most low budget, Spanish sci-fi extravaganzas.

All the fun starts when our hero Hector (Karra Elejalde) spots a naked lady on a hill behind his new country house and salivates up the hill to investigate. From that point onwards Hector is thrown into a world of time travel fuelled mayhem involving bandages, scissors, time travel baths, golf buggies and nondescript Spanish actors. Bizarrely, it all works brilliantly in a Groundhog Day meets The Sleeper meets Eldorado (the soap opera) kind of way.

Hector is the star of the show with a loveable, middle-aged mix of paunch, bald head and sweatiness. Questions need to be asked however, about his treatment of the hairdresser on the hill, where for some reason he descends into Lupin the Third territory. Surely he could just make her wave and shout help? Maybe he would have stayed in his deckchair if that was the case.

The film does make you think, but not too hard. It's definitely clever, well scripted and a fun experience. If you like down to earth, achievable time travel shenanigans on a budget then this will prove an ideal experience.

8/10

Doccortex

If you like this you could also try:
Cube, Triangle, Open Your Eyes.

Review - Salute of the Jugger (1989 - Dir. David Webb Peoples)

2012-01-30T14:57:00.000Z

The studio responsible for Salute of the Jugger should be taken to court for seriously misrepresenting the contents of this film. I was expecting salutes. Lots of salutes. Even one iconic shot of Rutger Hauer saluting would have been enough. Not a sniff of it. They may as well have called it Wink of the Jugger for the severe lack of winking content.

We're in Mad Max 2 territory for this one. Set in a dusty post-apocalyptic world, Sallow (Mr Hauer) is a 'Jugger', a player of a violent futuristic sport that pretty much involves hitting people. Each team includes a variety of roles. There's the 'Quick' who has to get a dog skull and put it on a stick in the opposition's half to win the game. Protecting this lightweight is a fella with a big spiky chain and three players equipped with Gladiators style pugil sticks. If this all sounds slightly familiar it might interest you to know that this is J.K Rowling's favourite film. Possibly.

Sallow is eventually joined by a new 'Quick', Kidda (Joan Chen) who, rather than playing games in shanty towns against Vauxhall Conference opposition, wants to have a shot at playing in the league. Funnily enough, the film ends with them challenging a league team to a game in what is the film's best setting: a grimy underground town containing an arena and a hotel that would have Health and Safety executives sweating. The hammocks are all on the side of a huge wall, only accessed by climbing multiple ladders.

Considering the 18 rating, it's not very violent or bloody, and the ending is a bit of a shame, but it has a suitable atmosphere and you can't help wanting Sallow's team to win. Certainly not one of Rutger Hauer's greatest films, but it's still worth a watch. Also, the title screen is gloriously akin to C64 game box art. Almost worth it for that.
4/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Mad Max 2, Split Second, Dust Devil, Rollerball, Fortress.

Review - Resident Evil: Degeneration (2008 - Dir. Makoto Kamiya)

2012-01-23T06:30:00.000Z

Featuring fan favourites Claire Redfield and Leon S. Kennedy from Resident Evil 2, Resident Evil:Degeneration is a fully CG film in the style of Appleseed Ex Machina and Vexille. Although not as good.

The main problem that you notice straight away is that all of the characters were born and raised in the Uncanny Valley. In fact, they'll probably get married, grow old and die there too. The voice acting is fairly poor too, which doesn't help matters. Add into the mix some of the craziest floaty CG hair in certain scenes and we're not off to a good start.

But stick with it. The opening half hour is pretty chock full of action. A plane crashes, zombies attack and zombies get shot in the head. All good stuff. The next half hour gets bogged down in exposition and 'really not that much happens' territory though. It all picks up again for the last thirty minutes with explosions, mutants and slow motion bullets a-plenty. Pretty much a game of three thirds.

Real actors were filmed in a motion capture studio as a basis for the animation. Their facial movements were also recorded when they spoke their lines. The actor that played Leon (Paul Mercier) must have been wearing a plastic Liza Minnelli mask for all the expression his face shows. Not even a flicker of a smile. You can probably tell I'm not that impressed with the technology but the fire effects and explosions are gorgeous. Fire is notoriously hard to do with CG (way easier for pyromaniacs) but they have done a great job here.

If you can suspend your disbelief with the characters' blank stares and put up with a slow middle third then there's a half decent action film to be found. Worth a watch if you can get it cheap and way better than any of the live action Resident Evil films. But then most things are. Even anaesthetic-free DIY tooth extractions.
4/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Vexille, Appleseed Ex Machina.

Review - Screamers: The Hunting (2009 - Dir. Sheldon Wilson)

2012-01-13T19:58:00.000Z

In the original Screamers review, I posed the question,'How bad can the sequel be?' The obvious answer is that it could be really, really bad. Luckily, it's not.

I think that there must be a ceiling on how good this could actually be. It's a low-budget sequel to a film about burrowing robotic purveyors of spinny circular saws, with severe death the only thought in their minds. Screamers: The Hunting has just about reached this ceiling.

The plot is very recognisable, even down to the early shots of our heroine Lt. Bronte (Gina Holden) in hypersleep. She's on her way to a planet (Sirius 6-B, from the original film) because of a distress call. She travels with a group of marine types (who look like something out of Gears of War on the DVD cover). Then she finds a small girl called Newt and fights the alien queen in a powerloader. Okay, maybe not the last bit.

To be honest, I didn't expect a lot storywise. But, the screamer killings needed to shine. The practical effects are up to the task. We get heads taken off by flying screamers, heads cleaved in two, heads liquidized by circular saw tongue appendages and arms rammed through bodies (and heads). There's plenty of gore, but it would benefit from some extra shots to build anticipation levels. Many gore scenes happened without me quite being ready for them, so I couldn't appreciate them fully.

The less said about the CGI effects, the better.

Even though the cast are fairly standard issue for this type of film, the one shining light is Lance Henriksen. They must have only been able to get him for a couple of days filming, but he does improve matters greatly. He doesn't really do a lot, but his onscreen presence lifts the whole film.

Altogether then, it's pretty much what you'd expect from a half-decent Screamers sequel. It is blatantly straight to DVD fodder, but still enjoyable for what it is.
5/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Screamers, Runaway, Death Machine.

Review - The African Queen (1951 - Dir. John Huston)

2012-01-12T19:30:00.000Z

The African Queen is very similar to Ice Cold in Alex in that it has a very linear story. Charlie Allnut (Humphrey Bogart) and Rose Sayer (Katharine Hepburn) are traveling down a river in Africa, so it would have struggled to be anything but linear. Set at the start of World War I, Rose's missionary brother (little Robert Morley) comes a bit of a cropper at the hands of the Germans at the beginning of the film, so the piano-playing, hymn-singing, high-necked dress wearing Rose is hell-bent on revenge. The plan is to tool up Charlie's boat, The African Queen, with whacking great torpedoes and ram an enemy warship. Kaboom!

Between them and the German's death boat are a variety of river-related problems: rapids, German gun emplacements, leeches and a major lack of gin. This all makes it sound like an action packed rip-roaring adventure. It's not really. It's all quite gentle. There is some mild peril at the end but you are never really worried about the two main characters.

The acting from Bogart and Hepburn is great, as you'd expect, and it would have to be, seeing as though they are carrying the whole film. Bogart plays a rough and ready character who likes a bit of a drink (and does some premium quality hippo impersonations) and Hepburn, a prim and proper lady who discovers she is an adrenaline junkie. They are the quintessential odd couple.

You know that there are going to be some romantic entanglements, but it all seems to happen a tad too fast for my liking. One minute they hate each other and then it's all kisses and cuddles and wriggling about. Possibly not the wriggling. It feels like there should have been more of a transition period in the middle of the film. Maybe he could have given her some Milk Tray, or winked and clicked at her.

Given that, I still enjoyed The African Queen. I've never really been bothered about watching a Humphrey Bogart film (Casablanca never appeals) but I quite liked him and would probably watch another.
6/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Ice Cold in Alex, The Philadelphia Story, Apocalypse Now (only joking)

Review - Renaissance (2006 - Dir. Christian Volckman)

2012-01-06T20:30:00.000Z

About five minutes into this I went back to the main menu, looking for sound options. It felt as though the voices didn't strictly match the animation. No option for another language, just English. Okay then. The next thing I noticed is how bad the voice acting is; it's worse than early 90s computer game cutscene acting. This almost made it unwatchable.

The other thing that almost makes it unwatchable is the style. The filmmakers have to be applauded for trying something different, and at times, the stark black and white animation really works, especially on the intricate architecture. But when the camera is on the characters the harsh white becomes painful to the eyes and worse still the action can be very hard to read. Fine, try something different, but change tack when you can blatantly see that it's really hard work to watch.

You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned the story yet. That's because it's pretty hard to follow. Your mind swings between 'Ooh bright light. Too painful' and 'This acting is laughable'; you don't have a lot of time to actually take in the story. From the little I managed to glean, it's something about a mega-cosmetics type company in 2054 called Avalon (L'oreal in other words). Set in Paris, the main story revolves around Ilona who gets kidnapped and our grizzled cop hero, Karas, sets out to investigate.

There are some great visual ideas: a glass office set in the middle of a bridge, glass multi-levelled pedestrian areas and the blending of two faces through a reflection in a sheet of glass. They like their glass.

The biggest surprise was getting to the credits: Daniel Craig, Romola Garai (Glorious 39), Ian Holm, the list goes on. I've heard of 'phoning in' performances but these were sent by smoke signal. From a fire made out of smokeless briquettes. That had long since gone out. Shocking stuff. Looking at Wikipedia (so it's obviously true) there is a French cast list. I'm guessing, but I suspect the French language version would have been way better. How hard is it to put the original version on a DVD? Different soundtrack and subtitles, that's it. I'd have typed the subtitles for them if they were that strapped for cash. I feel quite sorry for the filmmakers, to have their efforts severely hampered by the distributor and actors who sound like they couldn't be bothered, Craig being the main offender.

It's still painful on the eye though.
3/10
evlkeith

If you liked this you could also try:
Ink, Appleseed: Ex Machina, Vexille.

Review - Julia's Eyes (2010 - Dir. Guillem Morales)

2012-01-02T09:59:00.000Z

I'm always a little bit suspicious when a film is presented by someone (Guillermo Del Toro in this case) or is advertised as being from the producers of another more famous film (The Orphanage). I automatically think that the film in question isn't good enough to sell itself. In addition to this, the filmmakers are entering that overcrowded horror sub-genre of 'Blind lady being terrorised by a nutter'. Going toe-to-toe with Wait Until Dark is never going to be easy.

Initially, I was proved wrong. There is a fantastic opening to Julia's Eyes with a shock that actually made me jump slightly. The tension/creepy atmosphere continues with Julia (Belén Rueda), a woman suffering from a degenerative condition that will eventually make her blind, being followed by a barely glimpsed, shadowy figure. Admittedly, the scares descend quickly into 'there's someone behind you' territory, but all seems to be going swimmingly.

Then it flatlines. I know that people have to do stupid things in horror films, but Julia is a bit too stupid to believe. Why would anyone, left blind after an eye operation, opt to go back to a creepy house, alone, where all manner of horrible occurrences have been occurring? Julia's Eyes never recovers from this.

One of the main stylistic features turns out to be irrelevant. While Julia's eyes are bandaged, the camera never shows anyone else's face. A good technique for building empathy with Julia and you know that when one of the character's is finally revealed, it will be a big twisty shock. Er... no. The person in question might or might not be a character that we glimpsed (for all of 5 frames) earlier in the film. When the character is finally shown, I couldn't state 100% whether it was the previous character or not. And I'm normally good with faces. The fact that the original character needs a name badge, so that you can recognise him later on, shows that his face is not that memorable.

At another point, you see (?) the world through Julia's eyes. In other words, you see a black screen. I was thinking that this could be a really clever part, where they tell the story for a few minutes entirely with audio. Er... no. Her bandages are off within twenty seconds. Another waste of time.

There are so many ideas that go nowhere. It's all very disappointing. On the plus side, the film looks gorgeous, especially in the initial half hour. Beautiful colours, depth of field and even a bit of foggy mistiness (always a treat). In the latter stages you are too bothered by the plot to even notice the visuals.

To return to the front of the Blu-ray case: "Edge-of-the-seat viewing from start to finish" - Little White Lies. Big Fat Porkers more like. Watch Wait Until Dark instead. It's way better.
3/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Wait Until Dark, The Devil's Backbone, Tell No One.

Feature - New Year Honours List

2011-12-31T11:18:00.000Z

And so we come to our first obscurendure New Year Honours List. This is for individuals who have greatly contributed to the field of filmic obscurities.

It's tough to get into the list; there are only two people who have passed the required tests. Next year should see more as others prove themselves worthy.

To find out who has cut the mustard you can either go to the Pages section on the right-hand side (down a bit, down a bit) and click on New Year Honours List or click on the link below.

New Year Honours List

Have a great New Year!

evlkeith

Feature - Doccortex's Top Ten Films of 2011

2011-12-29T20:03:00.001Z

Here we go with Doccortex's favourite films that he's seen this year. Same rules apply as for mine in the previous post. I'll let him tell you all about them (but I still can't quite believe he managed to get a Cheaper by the Dozen reference into obscurendure; the whole site will need a thoroughly good scrubbing with Domestos/napalm now):

10 Ink

A weird blend of sci-fi, fantasy and children's television drama. Not one of the best, but pound for pound it's possibly one of the best 'effects' films ever made.

9. The Lovely Bones

Unfashionable and not an obscurendure film, but possibly the scariest film I've ever seen. The creepy guy makes Lupin the Third look like Mother Theresa. Admittedly some of the 'heavenly' backgrounds look a bit like PC Wallpaper, but overall this is well worth a watch even for obscure fans.

8. Elite Squad

Streetwise cops, guns, drugs, torture and dancing to 'Shiny Happy People' combine in this gritty, brutal tale of everyday life in Rio. A mainstream hit in Brazil and it even has a story!

7. Monsters

Surprisingly, I enjoyed this slow paced, sci-fi journey across South America. The monsters are low-key but beautifully created on the cheap by the director. The 'making of' extra on the DVD is well worth a watch too.

6. The Carriers

I just couldn't resist another low-key tale of global destruction. The Carriers is a journey into a future virus infected world that basically does what it says on the tin. The eldest sister out of Cheaper by the Dozen is the pick of the actors.

5. Frontiers

Not one for the faint-hearted but the best attempt yet at gritty/horror crossover. Brutal, bloody and gut-wrenching but still maintains a sense of humour.

4. Kick Ass

Again not the usual obscurendure film, but I really enjoyed this knock-about super hero caper. Evlkeith's read the comic and wasn't all that impressed, but if you come to it cold, its a breath of fresh air for us grit fans.

3. Splice

This is standard b-movie material, but strangely engaging and atmospheric. Apart from 'Dren', all the acting is useless, the plot is ropy and the timescale preposterous, however the overall film is way better than the sum of its parts.

2. Time Crimes

Middle aged, sweaty time travelling fun on a budget. Hector roams around rural Spain causing all kinds of rifts in the space/time continuum and all because he spots a naked lady in his binoculars.

1. Angel A

I'm not sure why I like this as much as I do. It's like a gritty version of a 1950s black and white comedy drama, but presented in the most visually striking way imaginable. Both actors relish their moments in the spotlight so much that the whole thing turns out to be a gritty little joy-fest.

Doccortex

Feature - Top Ten Films of 2011

2011-12-27T19:23:00.000Z

Here we are, at the end of the year, with the inevitable top ten films chart. To qualify for the chart, the film has got to be one that I've seen for the first time this year. You may think that this would be dead easy: find your 10/10 films, they go first, then your 9/10 films etc... Nothing's ever that easy. I've disregarded any ratings and gone by a gut instinct of what I would most like to watch again. Funnily enough there is a strong horror bias, but anyway, here we go. (If you want to read the full review of each film, just click on the title. I spoil you.)

10. Ice Cold In Alex

A perfect Sunday afternoon film, plus you get to learn what the best beer in the whole of the Middle East is. What more do you want from a film?

9. The Horseman

Top quality Australian revenge film. Brutal and unrelenting, but surprisingly well acted.

8. This Happy Breed

A gentle film about life between the two World Wars. Another great Sunday afternoon film.

7. Inbred

The title and picture says it all really. And it's set in Yorkshire, which is a bonus.

6. 5 Centimeters Per Second

Beautiful anime by the director of The Place Promised In Our Early Days, Makoto Shinkai.

5. Shuttle

Possibly the biggest surprise of the year. I got this from Poundland, so wasn't expecting much. It gets gradually darker as the film progresses and ends on a very bleak note.

4. Harold's Going Stiff

Er... the picture above looks a bit dodgy, especially taking the title of the film into account. Honestly, it's not that sort of film, you haven't just stumbled into a more specialist website. This is a great film, still worth 10/10 and still worth watching when it comes out on DVD. But it's not my number one. The overall feeling and atmosphere of a film tends to take precedence when I'm choosing my favourites.

3. Some Guy Who Kills People

Yes, it's a horror film. Yes, it's a comedy. But it's the relationship between the father and daughter that makes me want to watch this again. Another surprise.

2. The Woman

Watch the trailer. If you think that you're going to be offended, don't bother watching the full film. If not, you're in for a treat.

1. Cold Sweat

Totally stupid idea for a film, but I can't wait to see it again just for the atmosphere. This is the film that has wormed its way into my brain, just as The Pack did last year.

So there you have it. Ten quality films. But what's the worst film I've seen this year? That dubious honour would have to go to 127 Hours. If anyone can take a perfectly good book and mess it up it's Danny 'Ooh, look at me I'm a director. Look at all the flashy camera and editing effects I can use, just to remind you that I'm the director. And I've never made a zombie film. Even though they moved like zombies, chomped on people's necks in a similar fashion to zombies and generally looked like zombies, they're not. They're infected. I'm the director and my word is final! Don't you realise that I had a 'Feel Good Hit of the Summer'? By the way, did I mention that I'm a director?' Boyle. Biggest waste of time this year, by a long way.

I wonder what delights the next year will bring us. Will there actually be a mainstream film in the top ten in the form of The Avengers? Hopefully Joss Whedon will pull it off. Fingers crossed...

evlkeith

Review - The Castle Of Cagliostro (1979 - Dir. Hayao Miyazaki)

2011-12-24T20:00:00.001Z

Here's a little Christmas present for you, dear readers: one of my favourite films.
(Reader - 'Couldn't you have got us a PS3 game, or something alcoholic?'
evlkeith - 'Don't be so ungrateful, it's Christmas and it's the thought that counts.'
Reader - 'Yeah, but even a bottle of vodka would make me happier than a thought, wouldn't it?'
evlkeith - 'Fair enough. Point taken.')

I can watch The Castle Of Cagliostro at any time of year, but the nostalgia factor seems stronger at Christmas. Just hearing the first few notes of the opening theme instantly takes me back to my childhood. I can't say that I saw this when I was little, but it perfectly sums up the type of animation I watched and loved as a child.

Lupin is a 'gentleman' thief. I can't quite recall the word 'letch' being in the definition of 'gentleman', or the action of 'sticking out your tongue and waggling it around at scantily clad ladies' being referred to either, but at least Lupin is more restrained here than in Lupin The Third: The Secret Of Mamo. He rescues the Lady Clarisse d'Caglisotro from the clutches of the Count's evil henchman. Subsequently, she is captured again and Lupin is embroiled in a plot involving counterfeit money, the ineffectual Inspector Zenigata from Interpol and the titular castle.

The castle is one of the stars of the film, full of hidden doors, moving walkways and traps. There is also a great sense of verticality to it, with many scenes inducing vertigo in the viewer; Lupin running and leaping between the peaks of the towers is a major highlight. Lots of events within the film are foreshadowed by things you see or hear earlier. The ending could be straight out of a Hitchcock (or Harold Lloyd) film. It also contains a very grisly, but subtle, crunch sound effect (remember this is supposedly a family film).

The animation is a little bit rough around the edges (it was made in 1979), but there are so many great little touches and ideas that you can ignore any shortcomings: Lupin trying to swim back up a waterfall (and almost succeeding), the refraction of light as Lupin peers at Zenigata through a waterfall, plus there's a rocket-powered car that can drive up and down cliffs.

This is my favourite Miyazaki film. Just. I know that it doesn't have the loftier environmental themes of some of his other work, but it is a cracking adventure story. And the villain must have the biggest head and hands of any human villain. What more do you want? (Reader - 'Er... that bottle of vodka?')
9/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Laputa: Castle in the Sky, To Catch A Thief.

Review - Duck Soup (1933 - Dir. Leo McCarey)

2011-12-23T13:50:00.000Z

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a bit of the Marx Brothers. Many years ago, Channel 4 had a Marx Brothers Season at Christmas, showing about four of their films late at night. Hence their inclusion in our Christmas Season.

If you've never seen a Marx Brothers film prepared to be baffled, especially by the black painted rectangle that is supposedly Groucho's moustache. The jokes come thick and fast, particularly from Groucho as Rufus T. Firefly. Try to have an ear rest for five seconds and you've probably missed about eight jokes. You've got to work to keep up with him. Here's a sample bit of dialogue from Groucho after hearing that Mrs Teasdale's husband was dead:

Firefly: Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

Mrs Teasdale: He left me his entire fortune.

Firefly: Is that so? Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you!

Chico and Harpo are more at home with slapstick. The completely unnecessary scene where they are selling peanuts and fighting with a rival lemonade seller is comedy genius: hats are swapped repeatedly, things are cut off with a large pair of scissors (a recurring occurence throughout the film) and many legs are put into hands (you'd have to watch it to understand).

That's not to say that Groucho can't partake in a portion of silent comedy. Another standout scene is where Harpo is pretending to be Groucho on the other side of a smashed mirror and has to copy his every move. It involves many funny walks and dances. You can see the family resemblance in this scene as Chico also tries his hand at a Groucho impersonation.

By the end Duck Soup descends into something resembling one of Ernie Wise's plays as the four brothers go to war. Everything gets very frantic and random. Not that it hadn't been fairly random before that. But this is as good a place to start as any if you haven't seen any Marx Brothers films.

6/10

evlkeith

(If you have seen Duck Soup you will be aware that I've seriously contradicted my last review where I had a rant about musicals. It does contain a few songs, but they are funny, especially when Groucho whips out a little piccolo mid song. The musical numbers subvert tradition. In one scene, the four brothers do some really stupid dance manoeuvres that the rest of the cast then copy. Anyway, you need an exception to prove a rule, so leave me alone.)

If you like this you could also try:
Animal Crackers, A Day at the Races, A Night at the Opera.

Review - The Secret of NIMH (1982 - Dir. Don Bluth)

2011-12-22T16:01:00.000Z

Here's the first film in our Christmas Season. I know, it's got nothing to do with Christmas, but I tend to watch it at this time of year and it always makes me feel festive. Maybe it's down to the twinkly lights that seem to be all pervading. Even if something in its natural state isn't twinkly, it is in The Secret of NIMH. It's hard to show in a still photo, but trust me, everything's well twinkly.

Mrs Brisby is a mouse. And she's got four mousey children (early appearances - well, vocal anyway - for Wil Weaton and Shannen Doherty), but one of them's ill, and can't be moved. Oh, and the field where her home resides is going to be ploughed soon. And Mrs Brisby has to go to visit a massive mouse-devouring owl to get help. Good luck with that then, love.

The story is fairly standard issue with some rather large plot holes. Given the reasoning behind why the rats in the story can talk and behave intelligently, how come Mrs Brisby and all the other animals can talk too? But I don't watch this for the story. I watch it for the lush, hand-painted backdrops and gorgeous animation and the overall atmosphere. This was directed by Don Bluth, who worked at Disney, and you can see his influence in the character designs. Just look at those gnarled hands on Nicodemus (recalling his work on the laserdisc game Dragon's Lair). It's a shame that more companies aren't still making 2D animations. I'll have to stick to anime to get my 2D fix.

The main bonus of Don Bluth leaving Disney, apart from how great the film looks, is the lack of songs. The story never breaks its stride to make way for an Elton John penned waste of time in which the story barely moves along at all. I hate musicals and I hate characters spontaneously singing. It has to power to spoil even the best of films. I really, really hate it. Rant over.

Aside from a villain who never really gets the screen time to get really villainous, and a strong whiff of deus ex machina in the ending, The Secret of NIMH is enjoyable enough and I've watched it many times. Mainly at Christmas. Give it a try if you want a bit of twinkliness.

7/10

evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
The Dark Crystal, Watership Down, Titan A.E.

Review - Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010 - Dir. Jalmari Helander)

2011-12-21T09:43:00.001Z

You might be wondering why this film isn't part of the upcoming Christmas Season. It's because it's a Christmas film obviously. It would be crazy to have a Christmas Season that actually contained Christmas themed films. For a film to qualify for the season, it has to be one that I watch at this festive time, but have no Christmas content. Hope that clears that up.

On to the film. I went into this expecting a low-budget dirty grimy Finnish festive tale with a sideline in creepy nastiness. Rare Exports feels more like a Spielberg film (if he made obscure low-budget family unfriendly films). I was surprised at how gorgeous it looked. The lighting in both the interiors and exteriors, along with some super-smooth camera moves, make for a more polished experience. Even the odd bits of grime and grit look shiny. Straight away my expectations were dashed.

I don't think that it's a spoiler to give away some plot details (the trailer gives away far more). A company dig up something strange in the mountains of Northern Finland. Turns out that it's Santa. Not the cuddly (slightly worrying) Santa we all know and love, but a Santa from fairy tales who rips bad children to shreds. This affects a small nearby community who, after a really bad 'harvest', come up with a crafty plan to make some cash. Pietari (Onni Tommila) is a small boy from the village who knows from the start what is happening, but no-one believes him (funnily enough).

Rare Exports contains some cracking visual sequences and looks so good that I feel I should like it more. Was it my initial expectations clouding my judgment? My main problem is that the material seems to be stretched to feature film length. At many points, it seems to drag along at such a slow pace. I'm all for a patient build up, but this is a tad too patient. My other gripe is that seeing as though this is based on a dark, violent, child-shredding fairy tale Santa, there's not really a lot of blood and gore. A pig comes off the worst but it's nothing that you couldn't see just wandering through your local Morrisons. The whole thing comes across as being gentler than your average episode of Heartbeat (definitely tamer than the episode where Nick 'Wicksy' Wicks catches Greengrass gutting a pensioner with a pickled onion fork, just to thieve his bag of Werthers).

Again this all come backs to my feeling of Spielberginess: great visuals, gentle humour, children at the centre of the story, plus there's a shot of some crates that recalls one of Spielberg's greats. It's worth seeing on DVD, but only just.
4/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
The Thing, Tekkonkinkreet, Dead Snow.

Review - Another Earth ( 2011 - Dir. Mike Cahill)

2011-12-15T22:07:00.000Z

Here's a pitch for a film: 'Another Earth appears in the sky. It appears to be a carbon-copy of our Earth. A competition is held to go to the other planet in a cool space rocket.' You may now be imagining ships blasting off, zooming through space and possibly, fingers crossed, encountering some nutter aliens hell-bent on chewing the recently digested contents of the astronauts' stomachs, without them gipping it up first.

Forget all that. Another Earth is a psychological drama in a similar vein to The Night Following by Morag Joss. A tragedy occurs that slings two strangers together into a dark and depressing world. The story of the second planet is ever-present, but in the background for the most part.

The story throws up some interesting questions, such as: What would you say if you met an identical version of yourself, with identical memories? ("Give me all your cash, or I'll grass you up for that unpleasant incident involving the vicar, a lorry full of marmite and the Swedish ladies rugby team.") Are there any differences between you and them? Have they made better choices? Would you even want to meet them? (At least, I'd be able to talk about films without being on the receiving end of a blank, slightly worried look.) The concept of a second Earth got so ingrained in my brain that I found myself expecting to see it in the sky as I drove home. All I really saw was a white rabbit. Not in the sky. On the road. I felt like I was in a David Lynch film.

The two leads Brit Marling and William Mapother (who supposedly worked for very little money) are both convincing and draw you into the story. To be truthful, Another Earth doesn't have the most gripping of starts, but due to the quality of the acting and script it lures you into its obscure little ways. The film finally becomes interesting when a discovery is made by SETI during an attempt at first contact. And anyway, any film where a fella tries to woo a lady by playing a saw can't be all bad. It sounds gorgeous, (probably best listened to in a cinema) as does the atmospheric music by Fall on Your Sword. For some saw action have a listen to the Saw Lady who actually played the piece in the film for William Mapother to mime over.

I saw Hugo the day before. It has a really butt-numbingly dull start and then gets a little bit better. This film is way better than that even though it follows a similar pattern of gradual improvement and was made for a fraction of the budget. (Four thirty thousandths to be precise. Ish.) Well worth seeing if you don't mind the lack of space marines blasting aliens into chicken nugget style chunks.

6/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Monsters, Mulholland Drive, Starship Troopers (if you really want alien death).

Review - The Beastmaster (1982 - Dir. Don Coscarelli)

2011-12-11T11:12:00.001Z

So we come to the final entry in our Sword and Sorcery Season and I've saved the best till last. This was the film film I ever saw on a new-fangled technological device called a VHS Video Recorder/Player. It was round at a friend's house and what a cracking film to see. I was sold on the ideas of videos from that moment on.

Marc Singer (from the original series of V) plays our animal-loving friend. Due to a strangely attractive witch's intervention, he is born from the belly of an ox and from that moment on has a certain affinity for all manner of creatures. He can even see through the eyes of beasts and hear their thoughts. I sometimes wonder whether I was cut out of an ox's stomach because my rabbits talk to me (no, that's just clinical insanity).

Suffice to say, he goes on an epic quest in the search for vengeance, meets some chums and gets the girl.

Straight out of the Sword and Sorcery Checklist, Beasty comes up with a crafty plan to bed a bathing slave girl, Kiri (Tanya Roberts), who in true Sword and Sorcery style has a problem keeping her blouse on. In a similar fashion to Lupin, the Beastman comes across as a bit of a pervert, peeping and chuckling in a really dirty fashion. Funny, though.

The story is fairly bog-standard but it is very well told. Even with studio interference (what a surprise) and the insertion of some dubious visual effects shots (again, the studio's fault), the story is coherent and cracks along at a good pace. It's two hours long (blatantly ignoring the 'good film = one and a half hours' rule) but it more than justifies the extra length. It's almost got more endings than Return of the King. Almost. But all of the plot threads get tied up satisfactorily. The story-telling is a definite cut above its genre-mates The Sword and the Sorcerer and The Warrior and the Sorceress from roughly the same time period.

There are so many memorable moments in this film: Beastial Man getting sucked down into quicksand and rescued by ferrets, the creepy tree/bird people who liquidise their victims and let's not forget the insane Death Guard who charge about causing mayhem and general unpleasantness. Shame we don't see more of them. Don Coscarelli (Phantasm) knows the power of the simple still shot. The brilliantly designed Jun horde (the baddies) stood atop a hill waiting to attack a village is another standout. Loads more great stuff awaits those willing to watch a slice of 80s obscurity.

You could never accuse the leads of being great actors, but the performances are enjoyable across the board. Even though it was filmed in December in the freezing cold (including the scene where Tanya Roberts swims in the pool), the actors all seem to be having fun. Marc Singer is likeable and obviously worked hard to get into shape for the role. His sword swinging abilities have become legend. Try to pick up any sword-type implement and not do The Beastmaster swing manoeuvre. It's a physical impossibility after watching this film.

A great film that still stands up today. Don't bother with the dubious sequels though. They're not directed by Mr Coscarelli and you can tell.

8/10

evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Phantasm, Spacehunter: Adventures in Forbidden Zone, Bubba-Ho-Tep, The Dark Crystal.

Review - The Hidden (1987 - Dir. Jack Sholder)

2011-12-06T20:03:00.001Z

The Hidden is not too bad as low budget sci-fi horror films go, but I do feel it is a tad overrated. It starts off well, with a fairly surprising start involving CCTV footage of a bank. The car chase that follows is well handled. This section also includes the film's funniest moment, involving a Ferrari, high speed and a wheelchair. Plus occupant. I'm not condoning this sort of behaviour in real-life because, even though wheelchairs have a high points value, it's just not polite. I also learnt that in America it is an offence to smirk in a cocky manner, punishable by having a car exploded right next to your face, incurring severe burns. Harsh.

Kyle Maclachlan (Blue Velvet) plays an FBI agent, Lloyd Gallagher, who gets teamed up with Tom Beck, a streetwise, grizzled cop (Michael Nouri) to catch a hedonistic killer on a rampage. Maclachlan is spot on in his role. I won't say any more, for fear of spoiling it. If you've seen any science-fiction at all, chances are you'll be in familiar territory with the rest of the plot. It's hard to say how original it was at the time, but it bears some similarities to Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

As a late 80s film, it hasn't dated too badly. The music and technology are definitely from that era but the cop scenes hold up well. The special effects are also surprisingly good. The highlight is the transfer of an alien from one body to another. One of the heads is ropey but the other is very effective and on first viewing doesn't even look like an effect.

The rest of the main cast do a half decent job of playing it straight. Claudia Christian (Babylon 5) gets to shoot some really big guns and show her butt cleavage. William Boyett does a good job of looking like he's on the brink of a major heart attack. This is intentional, it's part of the plot, he hasn't just been eating too many Ginsters. There is also a 'blink and you'll miss it' appearance from Danny Trejo (Machete).

So far so good. The main problem I have with it, is that it's not very exciting, or very gross, or very emotional. In fact, it's all quite flat and low-key. It commits the cardinal sin of promising something earlier in the film that it doesn't deliver on later. If I see a little tentacle burst out of someone, in the finale I want to see loads of bursting tentacles whipping around. The technology was available at the time, the facehugger's tail in Aliens is one example, so it's a real missed opportunity.

It's still worth watching, and you never know, you might be one of the people who rates it more highly.
4/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Lifeforce, Split Second, Dark Angel, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (any version).

Review - Hobson's Choice (1954 - Dir. David Lean)

2011-12-06T18:06:00.001Z

There has been a bit of an unofficial Sir John Mills Season going on without me noticing. This is the third film containing him in not many weeks (see This Happy Breed and Ice Cold in Alex for more of his antics). No wonder he was compared to a chameleon by many of his actorly chums due to his independently swiveling eyes. Er, not really. Just from the three roles here, you can see his range. Every character is very different and at times it's hard to believe they were all played by the same man. A true master of his craft. The complete polar opposite of Mary's dad.

In Hobson's Choice he plays Willie Mossop, a boot-hand in Henry Hobson's (Charles Laughton) boot emporium. Hobson's three daughters are all of a marrying age (he believes Maggie is well past it at the ancient age of 30), but Hobson won't pay the settlement required by their husbands-to-be. When Hobson (a loveable comedy alcoholic, as they all were in the films of this period) gets completely tanked and falls into a cellar, Maggie (Brenda De Banzie) sees an opportunity for some devious crafty wiliness.

For a film that is nearly sixty years old, Maggie is a surprisingly strong female lead. Hobson obviously has his ideas about a woman's place but Maggie shows her true potential as a business woman. She is strong-minded, knows how to get what she wants and doesn't stand for any messing. Strange that one of the only pictures I can find is of her in the kitchen.

When we first meet Willie, peeking his head through the cellar trapdoor (shouting 'Swallow your soul!' - sorry, wrong film), he lacks self-esteem and clearly knows his place in the grand scheme of things. By the end of the film, Maggie transforms him into a hard-nosed, go-getting business lad. Cleverly, the script still allows you to see through the veneer of confidence to the character we know. A quality performance.

Hobson's Choice is a gentle comedy with some laugh out loud moments (in particular, the comment Willie makes the morning after his wedding night). As with most older films, the pace is slower, but this is used to great effect. In the build up to the aforementioned scene, Willie spends an eternity getting ready to go to bed, tending the fire, folding his clothes etc. This makes his comment even funnier. A classic film and one that I would recommend as a 'My First Black and White Film' experience. (Plus you get appearances from British sit-com icons John Laurie and Prunella Scales - what more do you want?)
8/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
This Happy Breed, Ice Cold in Alex, Sailor Beware.

Review - Let the Right One In (2008 - Dir. Tomas Alfredson)

2011-12-03T13:36:00.000Z

I'd been saving this for ages and finally the rainy day came when I decided to give it my undivided attention. Multiple awards, over the top reviews and an acclaimed original novel all indicated that this Swedish, low budget vampire tale, was something a bit special. Things are rarely as they seem and obscurendure provides a slightly different perspective...

It was a huge disappointment for me. Apparently Alfredson toned down the more excessive horror elements of the novel and instead focused on the relationship issues between the two main characters instead. The film resembles one of the weaker episodes of a Swedish version of Waterloo Road with a 'vampire' element bolted on to pep things up a bit. The acting is generally unconvincing with the adults looking suspiciously like they are only in the film because they are the director's friends. Essentially it gets caught somewhere between being too lightweight for horror fans and too simplistic for human drama buffs.

Low budget films don't always have to look cheap, but the setting and overall feel of things convey none of the expected bleakness or isolation of a Swedish winter. It all looks a bit like the Scandinavian equivalent of the Brookside Close set. With all of Sweden to pick from I'm sure they could have found somewhere more inspirational. And what does the title mean anyway? His options for 'letting in' were limited to one option as far as I could see. Could he have let the wrong one in? Could he let the right one out? At the end of the day we don't really care.

The only bright spot is the appearance of some really bad CGI animals. Bad computer generated animal spotters are in for a real treat in the 'cat' scene! They're up there with the bluebird in KPAX and the deer in The Ring 2. Well maybe not as bad as the deer, thinking about it. (Is that a CG poodle in this shot? It's pretty good if it is. - evlkeith)

I realise every critic in the world loved the film, but I'm sorry it's just not very good. Incidentally, I watched Kick Ass on the same day as this and it's hardly an obscurendure film, but it's way, way better than this. If you're tempted to watch Let the Right One In, my advice is watch Kick Ass instead. You won't be disappointed.

2/10

Doccortex

(I've seen this too and read the book. Now, being a bit of a horror boy, you might be expecting a more generous rating from me. But, I completely agree with the Doc's verdict. A major let down. The book was okay at best and the film even neshed it on some of the more goresome scenes, removing the parts I was actually looking forward to. If I want to watch pasty faced children in the snow chewing the necks off homeless people, I'll go to Rotherham in January. I think I'll watch Kick Ass instead. - evlkeith)

If you like this you could also try:
Pan's Labyrinth, The Orphanage, The Devil's Backbone, Nightwatch (1994 original).

Review - The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984 - Dir. John C. Broderick)

2011-12-03T08:23:00.001Z

Kain (David Carradine) is a holy warrior who enters a village at war. The villagers are dying of thirst but there is a well full of water guarded by the evil Zeg's lackeys. Bal Caz is the leader of another faction who is also after control of the well. To gain the upper hand Zeg has captured the sorceress Naja and tries to get her to forge a mega-powerful sword. Obviously, Kain gets involved...

Here's a typical scene: a big fat camp fella (Bal Caz) in a nappy lies on a bed, a bored looking woman sits by his side with her dumplings out whilst a really bad paper mache crocodile thing chitters into his ear. In a later scene, Bal Caz is carried into the village on a bed/throne combo and severely hams it up. Was this possibly the inspiration for Greasus Goldtooth? (That was me coming out of the Geek Closet, there.)

The dumplings don't end there. Naja has hers out for the first fifteen minutes until Kain covers her up. She's very soon recaptured and her dumplings are out again. Even when she finally escapes and is safe, she still doesn't bother to put them away. She's not the only one though. Most (possibly all) of the ladies have their dumplings out. The director thought that this was all getting a bit dull though, so he throws in a lady with four dumplings. David Carradine looks on, bored. Zeg rubs the end of his weapon and leers. (Not for the first time either: in an earlier scene with a naked Naja, he suggestively strokes his sword. Dirty little tinker.)

The acting is of the sub-panto variety. No one comes out of this unscathed. The prime offenders are Zeg, Bal Caz and Burgo the Slaver who is beyond belief. Worse still are the fight scenes. Normally, when you watch the 'Making Of' features you see them practising fight scenes in slow motion, barely making contact. That's what every fight looks this in this film. There's less force behind the blows than 70s Saturday dinnertime wrestling. One tentacled creature gets killed by little more than a paper cut. As for the full on battles, can you actually have a battle where you don't hit your opponent? Seemingly so. And then there's the half-arsed slave whippings/strokings. Shocking.

You might have guessed that The Warrior and the Sorceress is fairly terrible. Initially, it was quite funny but it becomes very wearing to the point where zero-anesthetic dentistry would be preferable. The villagers who wear gimp inspired masks are the only thing to drag this out of the quagmire. (I promise to finish the Sword and Sorcery season on a high, after the last two useless offerings.)
2/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
The Sword and the Sorcerer, The Lost Empire, any of the Deathstalker films.

Review - Red State ( 2011 - Kevin Smith)

2011-11-30T09:32:00.001Z

I hadn't heard anything about this but I saw it advertised and saw the words 'Kevin Smith' and 'horror'. I really liked Smith's run on Daredevil where he killed off Karen Page, so a horror film by him can't be all bad.

The 'horror' tag is a bit of a red-herring, because what starts off as a standard issue horror opener - three randy teenage lads get the offer of a foursome, drink some dodgy pop with the lovely lady, fall unconscious and wake up in the hands of an extreme right-wing church cult/sect thing - gradually morphs into something different and, in truth, more interesting. It is very hard to genrelise it. Which is good.

As expected, the script is witty and clever. When the leader of the church, Abin Cooper (Michael Parks) starts to preach and quote the scriptures you can clearly see the logical links that can be made if you believe in the bible to the letter and carefully choose which parts to quote. It all seems so rational. Don't get worried about me. I did say 'if'. (The last time I set foot in a church, I had third degree burns within milliseconds and I had to be driven off by my dad, who just so happens to look a bit like Gregory Peck.) Anyway, I can't quite recall there being a passage in the bible that relates to killing gay men through the use of a gun, shrink wrap and a gimp ball. Cooper's lesson seems to fall apart at that point.

Initially, I was a bit sceptical when John Goodman made an appearance as an agent type. The first sections contains unknowns (to me anyway) so it was jarring when in steps a big-name star. You expect him to be funny and he is. But the humour is very understated and he can actually play quite emotional scenes. He really grew on me during the course of the film.

You can never tell where Red State is going next. Is it a straight horror? A comedy? A siege drama? Is it a comment on extreme religious views? Or on the way that the US Government deals with 'undesirables'? It's a bit of everything. A veritable pick 'n' mix feast of filmic goodness. I can't say that I'd want to see it again, part of the fun is not knowing what to expect, but it's definitely worth watching once.
7/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
(Being such a broad mix of genres, there's nothing really like it, that I can think of. Just watch it and enjoy.)

Review - The Treasure Hunter (2009 - Yen-Ping Chu)

2011-11-27T10:35:00.001Z

I thought for a while that I'd found a hidden gem in The Treasure Hunter. Everything starts off so well. Fighters erupt from under the sand, proceed to batter each other and then plunge back into the dunes. Exciting stuff. Not long after that you are treated to what can only be described as 'Bandage Man'. A man with bandages (obviously) that he uses to attack our plucky hero, Qiao Fei (Jay Chou) in glorious slow motion. It may all seem a tad strange, and the CG effects aren't the best, but I cut it some slack because of the level of creativity on show.

Then the middle section saunters in. Oh dear. Everything grinds to a halt as romance descends. Okay, Lan Ting (Chilling Lin) is fairly gorgeous, but do we really need so many scenes of them wittering on about liking each other? I can't really remember what else happens. Suffice to say that random dullness abounds. The only respite you get are the antics of the gormless henchmen who manage to raise a few smiles on occasion.

Fortunately, things pick up again for the finale in the lost city which borrows heavily from the Tomb Raider games and Raiders of the Lost Ark. But The Treasure Hunter never quite reaches the giddy peak of 'Bandage Man' again. A shame.

It's hard to say anything about the story because everything is so random (that word seems to keep cropping up). Characters appear. Fight a bit. Do something strange. Then vanish. You're never quite sure why. 'Bandage Man' is quality, but he's only in it for five minutes and in that time you never get to know who he is, what his allegiances are, or why he's covered in attack bandages.

I really wanted to like this film after the initial burst of action. Sadly it was not to be. It only cost me a couple of quid though and it's definitely worth that. Just don't set your expectations too high. Except for 'Bandage Man'. He's great.

4/10

evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Armour of God, Operation Condor.

Review - Beyond Remedy (2009 - Dir. Gerhard Hroß)

2011-11-24T21:08:00.001Z

Do some filmmakers actually title their films to make it easy for reviewers? (Another prime example is the low quality Atrocious.) Why not just call your film, Less Pleasurable Than Intimate Fun With A Rotary Hand Whisk? It would certainly save me the bother of a) watching it, b) reviewing it and c) binning it.

A group of phobia-suffering medical students go to a hospital where they are treated with some fairly extreme techniques. There are some fairly strange phobias too: one sufferer is afraid of mirrors (he's not a vampire though, just ugly), but the strangest is a surgeon who's afraid of scalpels; that's like a baker who's afraid of baps. To make matters worse a chain-mail wearing surgeon-killer is on the loose (I'm making this sound far more interesting than it is).

You might have guessed that Beyond Remedy is not a good film. In actual fact, every aspect of the film is really, really bad. The acting from the whole cast is sub-porn. I half expected a moustachioed plumber to arrive in the middle of a scene and remove his huge tool from a tidy box. But the acting is worse than that. It pains me to say it, but it is sub-Mary's Dad from Eastenders. (For overseas readers, Eastenders is a British soap, full of bad actors, the worst offender being Mary's Dad whose lines mainly consisted of saying, "Oh, Mary love." He appeared in the first years of the soap and his acting set the zero-level that every other actor can be measured against.)

(Mary's Dad: sadly he doesn't make an appearance in Beyond Remedy)

You don't normally notice editing in a film, generally because it's done well. Beyond Remedy is a lesson in how to break the rules of editing, but not in a good way. The highlight is a shot of our heroine jumping from a ledge, fifteen feet above the ground. Cut instantly to her landing softly in a fella's arms. To be fair to the editor, this could be the director's fault; if you only get the footage of her jumping from a foot off the ground there's not much you can do with it.

Everything else is the film is poor: the lighting, the droning music, the virtually silent sound effects and the comedy prosthetics work. I bet the caterers even served up hummus sarnies. I'm not going to rant any longer. Just be glad you haven't had to sit through this shambles. It only gets a 1/10 because at least they've had a go and it's not an irritating film, unlike our 0/10 offerings. At least I only paid a quid for it.

1/10

evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Oh, I really can't be bothered.

Feature - My Christmas List

2011-11-23T19:45:00.001Z

At this time of year I start writing my Christmas list for Satan (let's face facts, the only thing Santa would bring me is a turd from a dog who's suffering with a dose of bubble poo, wrapped in Frank Bough's mustard and brown y-fronts. Satan it is then.)

As everyone knows, the true meaning of Christmas is playing with your freshly acquired games for stupid amounts of time, while drinking and eating a bumper crop of festive goods. I got to thinking that if I could get 25 games for Christmas, what would they be? (Plus, this gives me an opportunity to write a sad list.) The games can be taken from any time period, on any console or gaming system. I'll try to get clips of all the games, but I doubt I'll be able to get some of the more obscure offerings. Anyway, let's take a break from films and have a look at some premium top-drawer gaming action.

25. Starmaster (1982 - Atari 2600)
This gets in there because it's the first game I ever owned. When you died, it played the death march. Which is cool.

24. Rebel Planet (1986 - C64)

Top quality text adventure. Listened to the Redskins' 'Neither Washington Nor Moscow' while playing this.

23. Quedex (1987 - C64)

Ten sad little ball rolling challenges that kept me playing for ages.

(Skip to 3:20 for gaming action, or for retro thrills, sit through the loading screen)

22. Winter Games (1986 - C64)

Quality ice skating action in this one, that led to the Father of evlkeith having his last name changed to Dean due to some of his tricky manoeuvres.

21. Creatures 2 (1990 - C64)

Possibly the pinnacle of C64 graphics. To increase the number of colours onscreen, they rapidly switched the sprites between two colours to blend them together and create a new shade. Crafty. I bet Infinity Ward don't have to do that.

20. Spy vs Spy 2 (1985 - C64)

It was top fun, to set a trap and then watch your chum walk straight into it. Much cackling was brought forth.

19. Typhoon (aka A-JAX) (1987 - Arcade)

Many coins were pumped into this in the arcade. I love shooters, both of the vertical and horizontal types, but this one was even better because you also went vertically downwards towards an aircraft carrier. Destroying it gave you a lovely explosion and sent you rocketing upwards into the stratosphere. A great gaming moment.

18. Ridge Racer Revolution (1995 - PS1)

This game perfectly hit the feeling of being right on the edge of control. One slight nudge in the wrong direction and you drifted into oblivion. Adrenaline rush ahoy.

17. Braid (2008 - Xbox 360)

This puzzler severely played with the time control mechanic from 'Prince of Persia: Sands of Time'. Days were spent mulling over a particularly tricky problem. The solution normally hit me when I wasn't even thinking about it and they always seemed really obvious. The mark of a great puzzle game.

16. Gradius V (2004 - PS2)

A side-scrolling shooter developed by Treasure. Enough said.

15. Final Fantasy VII (1997 - PS1)

I must have spent well over sixty hours playing through this. Twice. Not been that impressed with the Final Fantasy games since though.

14. Limbo (2010 - Xbox 360)

Another great puzzler, but this time in black and white. Plus it's got a completely creepy spider attack. Short and the last third is not quite as visually arresting, but a great game nonetheless.

13. Uridium (1986 - C64)

How great was it to turn your ship on its side to slip through tiny gaps whilst shooting at stuff (simultaneously messing yourself)? Pretty darn great.

12. Alien Breed (1991 - Amiga)

The best Aliens game (unofficially of course)? Certainly a homage, but when you're legging it from aliens, the screen flashing red and a lady issuing warnings you couldn't care less. The sequels were great too (except Alien Breed 3D maybe).

11. Beast Busters (1989 - Arcade)

This has the honour of being the only arcade game I've completed on one credit. That says less about my skill and more about the amount of time I spent in the bar where it was situated.

10. Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2 (2008 - Xbox 360)

Perfect zone game. You don't quite know how you're avoiding the enemies, but somehow you brain is hardwired into the controller and you dance around them. Great stuff. I'll just have one more go. Just one more...

9. Half-Life 2 (including subsequent episodes) (2004 - Xbox 360)

The only FPS in my list, but what a cracking game. Bit of a shocker to actually find characters who you care about in a game.

8. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (2004 - Gamecube)

I loved how this game was broken down into different chapters, each offering a different style of gameplay.

7. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (1998 - N64)

Got. To. Collect. Everything. (I still find myself whistling the ocarina tunes at times.)

6. Super Monkey Ball (2001 - Gamecube)

I can't remember which level it was but there was one massive difficulty spike that took me days to get past. Quality buzz when I nailed it though.

5. Bayonetta (2009 - Xbox 360)

A naked lady with a hair costume (?), guns connected to her hands and feet and a knack of lamping angelic bad guys: what could be better? Takes a lot of patience to master, but when you do, you appreciate how great this game really is. Bonkers. But great.

4. Rez (2002 - PS2)

Basically 'Space Harrier', but you can change the soundscape by shooting stuff. Turn it up loud to fully appreciate.

3. Frequency (2001 - PS2)

An abstract music game, and yet it feels far closer to actually playing music than 'Guitar Hero'. Another zone game.

2. Shadow of the Colossus (2005 - PS2)

The only game to make you feel really really bad about killing the enemies. It had some similarities to 'Ico' but was so much more than your average sequel.

1. Ico (2001 - PS2)

Easily my favourite game ever. So atmospheric and you get a character that you really care about in Yorda. The music is stunning and who would have thought that one of the best gaming moments is running along an empty beach for two minutes. (You'd have to play it to know what I mean.) A perfect game.

So there you have it. There's bound to be some games that you can't believe I've missed out and some games in the list that you hate, but with such choice available, everyone can be happy. My Christmas list will actually involve numbers 1 and 2 because I'm going to get a PS3 just to play them in sparkly HD. (Plus there's the small matter of 'The Last Guardian' on the horizon.)

Normal film review service will now resume.

Review - Buried (2010 - Dir. Rodrigo Cortés)

2011-11-22T21:21:00.001Z

This is a high concept film (helpfully, the concept keeps the budget nice and cheap). The whole idea is: 'Let's take a bloke, slap him in a box, bury him and stick a camera in there for 95 minutes.' It's taken me a while to get round to watching it, but I knew I would have to at some point.

Ryan Reynolds (who must have taken up most of the budget) plays Paul Conroy, a trucker working in Iraq. He gets hijacked by insurgents and held to ransom. Luckily, he has a handy little man bag in the box with him, full of useful trinkets: a phone, a lighter, a torch, alcohol, tablets of some description and some of those green glowy stick things.

Just as mobile phones seem to have scuppered horror films to a certain degree, with writers coming up with comedy ways of making the phones inoperable, lost or left behind, this film wouldn't have worked without their invention. It would have been fairly tedious to watch someone getting giddy in a box for the running time, so it was fairly necessary to let him talk to the outside world. He contacts relatives, the company he works for and the U.S. government to try to get out of his predicament. If Reynolds had been useless, Buried would have followed suit. But, as luck would have it, he's surprisingly good. Half an hour in an MRI scanner was enough for me, I don't know how he coped being in that box for however many days. He deserves a big Ginsters for being such a trooper.

Like another high concept film, Cube, the director makes it visually interesting for the viewer using different light sources. Hence the contents of his bag. Even within the confines of a box, we are still treated to some cracking images. The final scenes of sand pouring in are particularly effective (and harrowing) but my favourite shot is when the camera is looking down on Conroy and then slowly pulls up. I know it's not realistic, but it accurately conveys his isolation.

Starting this film, my thoughts were that it had to stick to the plan: you couldn't have any shots of the outside world. It would also have to have a satisfying ending. Buried scores on both points, so I came away happy. Films of this type surely have a ceiling of how good they can be and this is about as good as it gets.
6/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Cube, Frozen, Devil.

Review - Ice Cold in Alex (1958 - Dir. J. Lee Thompson)

2011-11-21T19:03:00.001Z

The first thing that hits you about Ice Cold in Alex is the music. I think that a slight bit of cheeky tributing has been done by John Williams when composing the Star Wars score. Just have a listen to the trailer at the end of the review and you'll hear what I mean. Dirty little homager.

Anyway, on with the film. I know this wouldn't have been obscure at the time, but I'd never heard of it until a colleague at work told me to give it a look (along with the quality This Happy Breed). Captain Anson (Sir John Mills) is given the unenviable task of driving two nurses to Alexandria. Doddle. He's setting off from Tobruk though. Okay, still not too bad. Nazis are lurking about around every sand dune shooting at them, they have to cross mine fields and quicksand, and they're driving an old clapped-out ambulance with limited supplies of water and food. Ah. Rather you than me, mate.

Anson is ably assisted by Tom Pugh (Harry Andrews), a very affable sort of fellow, the kind of bloke you'd like to have a pint with, get him to fix your car and then have a game of darts with him. Also along for the ride is the slightly more unsavoury Captain van der Poel (Anthony Quayle), a South African hitchhiker with a bag full of gin that Anson, being a big alcoholic, covets like his neighbour's ox.

The story is very linear. It's basically a road trip without any side quests. Just keep going until you get to Alexandria. This means that you can disengage your brain (quite easy for me) and enjoy the ride. Even if it is on a bumpy ambulance. You get to fully appreciate the four leads and the numerous scrapes they get themselves into, including a beautifully lit run-in with the aforementioned quicksand. (One of my major fears, surely one of everyone's major fears?)

Bear in mind that this was made in 1958 and you can let it off for having slightly dubious gender politics. Sister Diana Murdoch (Sylvia Syms) is told at one point to stop worrying about her make up and get pushing the ambulance. I won't spoil one of the top calamities of the film but have a guess who's responsible. The fellas soon put her in charge of the bags, metaphorically speaking, and sort the problem out in a very stoic British kind of way. Then they get her to make sandwiches and butter the malt loaf while they have a game of cricket. And while they all go down the pub for pints and back slapping, she does the washing up. Er, maybe not. I think that scene was cut out of this version.

(Image not taken from the film - funnily enough.)

All in all a quality Sunday afternoon kind of film. Gently paced for the majority of the time, with a smattering of excitement and tension along the way. Granted, there's a completely unnecessary (and preposterous) romantic entanglement but you can forgive this minor slip, due to the film's uncomplicated, clear storytelling. (It's also quite funny that the best beer in the whole of the Middle East turns out to be Carlsberg. They may as well have made it Strike lager from the local Happy Shopper equivalent.)
7/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
This Happy Breed, Since You Went Away.