Thursday, 25 August 2011

Review - Tango and Cash (1989 - Dir. Andrey Konchalovskiy)

The first instalment of our Buddy Movie Season and we're starting with a prime slice of late 80s cheese. Tango and Cash fits nicely into the category of 'It's so bad, it's good'. Well, good might be stretching it a touch, but it is a laugh.

Tango (Sylvester Stallone) and Cash (Kurt Russell) are two cops working in separate parts of L.A. All is going well with their crime-fighting ways, until they are framed for a murder they didn't commit. Sentenced to a stretch in a low security prison, it turns out that they're actually sent to a high security prison with a loads of perps they helped bang in the slammer. Chuckle chuckle. Hilarity ensues. There's not really that much prison action in it. Not enough to be included in the recent 80s Prison Season

The cast all cheese it up like there's an emmenthal shortage. Stallone is terrible, but that's part of the charm. There's an appearance from Deep Space Nine's Marc Alaimo without his Gul Dukat make-up. The worst offender in it is Brion James (Blade Runner). His English accent is just shocking. His attempts to swear are one of the highlights of the whole film. Why do all English characters in American films have to either posh or cockneys? It would have been way better if they'd got an actor from Barnsley to play the same part. 

Tango and Cash is such a product of the 80s: Tango is involved in stocks and shares, his sister (Teri Hatcher) randomly plays some synthesised drums during a saucy dance routine, Kurt Russell's haircut, the badly dated music that keeps reminding you that you're having fun and weirdly, most of the rooms are filled with mist. I can't remember the 80s weather being that full of pea-soupers, but in Tango and Cash you could lose your bearings in most of the rooms. Very strange.

I know that most of the above is not strictly positive, but I do quite like Tango and Cash. You're never bored and there's lots to chortle at. Plus you get to see one of the biggest chins in screen history on the bottom of Robert Z'Dar's face. Oh, and Kurt Russell in drag.

If you like this you could also try:
Red Heat, Big Trouble in Little China, Robocop, Lock up, Drive, Monolith.

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