Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Review - Alien Agent (2007 - Dir. Jesse V. Johnson)

Mark Dacascos must be able to knock this kind of film out in his sleep. Go straight to DVD. Do not pass GO. Do not collect £200.

Rykker (Dacascos) is the titular agent, hunting down some of his fellow naughty aliens who are intent on thieving the planet for themselves. Billy Zane unwittingly becomes their leader due to some body snatching tomfoolery. One of life's great questions is: how does someone with a total lack of personality manage to get so much work in films? It baffles me. (A similar question should be asked about the brothers, Vernon and Peter Kay.) Zane is his usual personality bypass self in this film and is the weak link.

It all starts quite promisingly with a Matrix style leap off a bridge followed by a car chase and a pretty cool explosion. Then, that's your lot. I wonder if they ploughed loads of cash into the first twenty minutes, just to sell the film, and then just butt-cheeked off the rest of the film. It certainly seems that way.

Easily the best thing about Alien Agent is the relationship between Rykker and waitress Julie (Emma Lahana). They provide most of, if not all, the humour in the film. Together they make the latter half watchable, despite Zane's best attempts to render it otherwise. Dacascos gets to chin and lamp some pesky aliens, but it's not the best fight direction I've ever seen. He's way more capable. Didn't they know they had a naughty-bottom mum poker on their hands (watch the fight scenes in Drive and Brotherhood of the Wolf for the true Dacascos experience).

To be honest, there is some mild entertainment to be had here. As with most films of this ilk, go into it expecting it to be really bad and you'll be mildly surprised (unlike Captain America, where they should have been able to make it half decent, but it comes out distinctly underwhelming). If it's on telly and you've got nothing better to do, (like clipping your bum hair, for example) it's worth a watch.


If you like this you could also try:
Scorcher, Crying Freeman, Drive, Sanctuary.


  1. It's so hard to watch him in a movie and not shout out "A LA CUISINE" every five minutes. Well, at least, for me... (Memories of "I Am Omega")...


    1. I've seen "I Am Omega" and I can't remember that bit. When does he say it? Actually, I'm not sure that I want to catch "A LA CUISINE" tourette's. It may spoil my enjoyment of "Brotherhood of the Wolf".

  2. I've never actually seen Mark Dacascos in action but he's fast becoming my film hero. Must watch Brotherhood of the Wolf soon.

  3. He's a total hero. After Brotherhood of the Wolf, you can sample the delights of Crying Freeman and Drive.