Monday, 23 April 2012

Feature - A Year of obscurendure in Quotations

It's been a long year at obscurendure with literally hundreds of reviews. To celebrate a year of the premier obscure film blog I've re-read the whole thing and picked the quotes that effectively summarise our output and tell you everything you need to know about our editorial stance. For regular readers; can you spot who said each quote and which film it relates to? (Check out our parallel article at Into the Valley of the Obscure.) 

"Who doesn't love a helmet wearing lady with a shotgun and lawnmower shield combo?"

"One of my most hated things is Thunderbirds spoofs. People walking around pretending to be puppets. Scum of the earth."

"Being generous, you could call Lupin a 'ladies' man'. Being less generous, a 'pervert'."

"I hate musicals and I hate characters spontaneously singing. It has the power to spoil even the best of films. I really, really hate it."

"Time for some moustache porn. It is so luxurious. So thick, bushy and neatly trimmed."

"In a similar fashion to Lupin, the Beastman comes across as a bit of a pervert, peeping and chuckling in a really dirty fashion. Funny, though."

"Shacks are great. If that doesn't whet your appetite I don't know what will."

"Then you have Goldblum playing the usual Goldblum character, dressed as a red and white cowboy. Hate him with a passion."

"Here is a typical scene: a man dances with a dead villager, accompanied by a fellow with a hurdy gurdy. In the foreground sits a man cackling away, encouraging the surreal dance, while a woman holding a duck stares gormlessly into space."

"The creepy guy makes Lupin the Third look like Mother Theresa."

"Don't get your hopes up with the miners: they look nothing like the Northern National Union of Mineworkers miners that are probably in your head. They are more like a Guillermo del Toro creation, eyeless, noseless with large lower canines."

"When the best thing about a film is a dog called Robin - and he's not in it for long - you know things are not good."

"If you like cops with guns, shooting drug dealers with guns in slums, with loads of guns and shooting then this is the film for you."

"Glass blowing with stunningly hot molten glass and hypnotism do not make good bedfellows."

"Lupin is a 'gentleman' thief. I can't quite recall the word 'letch' being in the definition of 'gentleman', or the action of 'sticking out your tongue and waggling it around at scantily clad ladies' being referred to either..."

"And anyway, any film where a fella tries to woo a lady by playing a saw can't be all bad. It sounds gorgeous."

"Not to be confused with the more specialist title The Kerb Crawlers, The Sky Crawlers is a traditional anime/CGI mutated hybrid type thing."

“If you're after a business blouse make sure that it complements your suit rather than contrast with it. That would just be crazy.”

I can see this being half decent if you were in a dark cinema at two o'clock in the morning and you'd had a few Tizers. You could fall asleep and dream of desiccated cow corpses.”


1 comment:

  1. The miners quote has got to be the winner of quote of the year. Still makes me laugh now.