Friday, 6 September 2013

Review - Army of Darkness (1992 - Dir. Sam Raimi)

"Hiya you guys! It's me, Friendly Terry Wogan, coming at you live from Children in Need. And what a treat we've got lined up for you tonight."

"Sam Raimi had a big hit with his family favourites: The Evil Dead and its sequel Evil Dead 2, so he's decided to make yet another zany sequel just for us here at Children in Need! Cheers matey! Obviously he's had to tone it down very, very, very slightly so that we don't offend the Queen and all the little kiddies watching, but it's still chock full of Evil Dead goodness."

"We all love The Three Stooges here at Children in Need and so does Mr Raimi. He's hinted at his love for those gormless buffoons in the previous two film - although they were maybe a bit too rough for my liking - but here he's really gone for it and packed in loads of humourous Stooge inspired gags. Ho ho, how I laughed at the 'hand down the middle of the face/finger poke in the eyes' gag. It's amazing!"

"The Evil Dead was one of my top mates Mary Whitehouse's favourite films but she always had one little quibble with it: it looked a bit too grainy - and more importantly - a bit too dirty. Thankfully Mr Raimi has sorted all of that out and everything and everybody looks really shiny in this Children in Need exclusive version. Bruce Campbell's hair is particularly spick and span and well greased. The special make up effects have been given a good scrub too so there's no fear of catching any sort of unpleasant disease off the grimy screen."

"One crazy boss here at the BBC was a tad worried about us showing this, so we checked it out with evlkeith's mum. It got a big two thumbs up from her... apart from the ending. Oh dear, she didn't like the down ending and demanded that it have a nice happy ending. Mr Raimi couldn't have been more accommodating. He was straight back in the studio shooting an altogether more agreeable upbeat ending."

"Being a BBC production, Mr Raimi had to scale back his ambitions slightly. He would have obviously preferred to have used Ray Harryhausen style stop-motion animation on the skeletons but, hey-ho, he couldn't have done it all like that. So he had to make do with a bit of animation, plus puppets and blokes in skeleton suits." 

"He has managed to get in a bit better acting talent though. Way better than those low budget friends of his. Bridget Fonda makes a cameo, and Jeremy Paxman, but Embeth Davidtz (Schindler's List) has a much larger role as Brucie's love interest. She's lush!"

"Coming up at 7 o'clock we've got the cast of Casualty and the BBC newsreaders dancing Gangnam Stylee in transparent PVC lederhosen, but now it's time to unveil Sam Raimi's Army of Darkness. Yo kids! You're gonna love it! Bitchin'!"

NB The above may not be an accurate transcription of what Mr Wogan actually said on Children in Need. 

4/10 (for the Director's Cut with the proper down ending.)

If you like this you could also try:
Darkman, My Name is Bruce.

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