Sunday, 10 July 2011

Feature - Prison Checklist.

As part of the 80s Prison Season, I thought I'd better do a prison checklist. So, here we go, fifteen steps to the perfect prison film.

  • An entrance to the prison scene where the protagonist has to walk past the other leering inmates who are preferably throwing toilet rolls at him.
  • A prisoner who shows our hero the ropes.
  • Dirty cops/guards.

  • Someone gets stuck by a shiv.
  • A scene on a basketball court or weights area. This could be combined with the above point.
  • Our hero gets something taken off him by a rather large intimidating inmate, possibly toothpaste. Or a sausage from his plate.

  • One of the inmates is an older guy who is never getting out.
  • A male rape scene, most probably a gang rape.
  • Mr Big who's in with the warden.

  • There is a riot. Again, probably involving toilet roll lobbing.
  • Our hero gets thrown in 'The Hole' and comes out looking suitably haggard.
  • An A-Team making a weapon scene in the metal work room.

  • A scene of sloppy unpalatable food being thrown onto a school dinner plate with numerous compartments by the prison equivalent of a dinner lady.
  • One of the inmates dresses like a lady and is Mr Big's Mrs. Camp voice is optional.
  • A lady (preferably Julie Andrews) gets trapped in the prison; the inmates make polite gestures to woo her.

'An Innocent Man' did quite well based on that list. I wonder if anything else can top it?


  1. I came here to see if the gun in the 1973 Clint Eastwood film Magnum Force was shown here. Or any of the original cast. I was especially interested in Harry's fellow cops, the good and the bad, and those who played some of the victims or other bit parts with lines, such as the taxi driver and his fare, the gorgeous black female prostitute with whom he was head over heels for, who liked him back for being so crazy about her, enough that she was all set to throw him a freebie, when unfortunately her pimp went and knocked her off for holding out on him. I often wondered if anyone had any photos from any of the Magnum Force cast reunions.

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