Post Mortem - Year of the Dead

It's been a hard year watching a zombie film every week (and reviewing it). But it has been worth it. Possibly. So here we go with a run down of some of my findings:

• Best zombie film: The Beyond

• Worst zombie film: Zombie 108

• Best zombie films that I hadn't seen before: Tokyo Zombie, Kill Zombie! and Hell's Ground

• Funniest zombie film: Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror

• Best brawling zombies: Nightmare City

• Gurniest zombie: Big Tits Zombie

• Best zombie make-up: Zombie Flesh Eaters

• Worst zombie make-up: the turd zombies from Nightmare City

• Most iconic actress: Catriona MacColl

• Most abused actress: Daniela Doria

• Most iconic actor: Ken Foree

• Best costumes: Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things

• Best kill: the splinter in the eye from Zombie Flesh Eaters

• Best zombie: Dr. Freudstein from The House by the Cemetery

• The zombie film where I didn't even make it past the first five minutes due to lowness of quality: Dead Genesis

• The zombie film that I couldn't watch because the DVD was so badly scratched: Shatter Dead (I don't think that I missed much)

• Worst people to be involved in a zombie film: Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso

• Best director: this was always going to be between two directors, but for me Romero just gets pipped by Lucio Fulci

I've done some statistical research to find the best decade for zombie films. Here are the average ratings for the zombie films I've reviewed from each decade:

1960s - 6.3

1970s - 6.4

1980s - 5.9

1990s - 4.8

2000s - 5.2

2010s - 4

Mmm, not much between them really, apart from the 2010s looking really useless. Let's try looking at the percentage of films that I rated 8 or more from each decade:

1960s - 0%

1970s - 40%

1980s - 35%

1990s - 0%

2000s - 8%

2010s - 0%

So there you go, if you had to choose a random zombie film you're best bet is one from the 70s or 80s. (Many apologies if you got Zombie Flesh Eaters 2 though.)

When the inevitable zombie apocalypse happens what have I actually learnt that will stand me in good stead? Oh, so many things, but here's my main tip. If anyone gets injured, let's say a really harsh break where the bone juts out, or a severe zombie bite on an arm, administer first aid by dabbing the wound with a bit of cotton wool. For extra healing power, have a slightly wincing "that looks nasty" look on your face. The wound will be sorted in no time.

Before we leave the Year of the Dead season for good, I must thank - in no particular order - Kev D. (http://www.zombiehall.com), King Uke (http://theukuleleblog.blogspot.co.uk/) and Karl Kaefer (http://xsmarkthespot.squarespace.com/blog/) for their comments and quality suggestions. It's made the pain easier to bear.

Next year we're going to have something new for you: The FA Cup of Actors. Sixteen actors will be battling it out (to the death obviously) through the medium of me and Doccortex reviewing a random selection of their films and seeing which are best. More information will be forthcoming in the new year.

Have a great New Year and thanks for reading.

evlkeith