Mini-Review - Stalker (1979 - Dir. Andrei Tarkovsky)

If you appreciate and get this film (as many people seem to) then that's all well and good. For me it was two and a half hours of people wandering around in fields, stopping for a long chat about existential type stuff that for me was virtually indecipherable, and then having another little wander around. And then another little chat.

Some beautiful visuals made it watchable, but despite the massive presence of fog it was strangely lacking in atmosphere. This is my first Tarkovsky film and I'm not that keen. When I'm after my slow ponderous film fix I think I'll stick with a bit of Werner Herzog.

4/10

evlkeith

Review - Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1973 - Dir. Bob Clark)

When this kicked off I thought that I was watching a live action Scooby Doo film from the seventies. It's down to the lovely costumes you see. Plus it's set on a creepy island shrouded in fog. Scooby Doo all over. If Scooby Doo contained a gay necrophile wedding scene.

Alan is an irritating control freak theatre director who takes his happy little band of thespians to a dark island containing a graveyard. Alan also likes playing pranks, a bit like Beadle but with stripy trousers and a neckerchief. The oh-so-amusing prank he plays involves digging up a dead body and getting one of his buddies to rise from the now empty grave. How everyone laughs. For an encore he tries to raise the dead. Nice one mate.

The good thing is that Alan, played by Alan Ormsby (brother of Doncaster Rovers legend Brendan Ormsby... possibly), is supposed to be irritating and he is entertainingly irritating. I can see how his performance would split people, but I quite enjoyed him hamming about, laughing like a pantomime villain and having a good old rant at his chums. In fact, the whole film probably depends on whether you warm to his performance or not. I did. But there's more to the film than just Alan.

Evil-beardy Alan

Boot-swinging Brendan

The zombies are more Zombie Flesh Eaters than World War Z. Ormsby did the effects himself using a combination of latex and toilet paper. Quality. On the whole, they look great, really crusty and dead. It's just that it takes a while for the proper zombies to appear.

Yeah, about fifty minutes pass and there's not a whiff of a dirty shambler. Maybe if they appeared ten minutes earlier my rating would have been bumped up by a point to a very respectable level. When they finally appear though, it has to be one of my favourite moments of any of the zombie films I've seen this year. They claw their way out of their graves (hooray) all to the accompaniment of the strangest film music I've had the pleasure to come across. It's all very atmospheric and strangely disturbing. At times they attack in stunning low def slow motion (probably filmed at 24fps and then slowed down to give that snail pace flip book feel) and again it's worryingly powerful given the tone of the rest of the film.

I've managed to avoid the marriage scene until the final paragraph. It sounds great on paper but it didn't really register with me that much at the time. It's a natural continuation of the degradation that the corpse has suffered before. Lovers of The League of Gentlemen probably won't bat an eyelid. If you're shocked by this type of thing (that's what the film-makers were going for) and find men marrying dead men distasteful then maybe avoid this and watch something entirely more pleasant instead; I'd recommend something along the lines of Antichrist, or the zombie film I'll be reviewing next week...

6/10
evlkeith



If you like this you could also try:
Deathdream, Dead and Buried.

Review - Supsiria (1977 - Dir. Dario Argento)

The violence in Suspiria has to be seen in context. Imagine a young evlkeith, brought up on a diet of tame and/or butchered horror films, where 18 rated films would barely register as 15s now, and suddenly Suspiria drops into his lap. Within the first quarter of an hour, a brutal stabbing followed by a quick ride on a noose-ended rope was certainly enough to make me sit up and take notice. When I finally got to see the uncut version  including the heart piercing, (round at a dodgy mates who had access to some highly specialist titles) Suspiria became one of my favourite horror films.

But time has passed and now it's the violence in Suspiria that seems tame. Surely there's more to this classic horror. The story perhaps? Nope. It's virtually non-existent. Suzy Bannion (Jessica Harper) wanders around a ballet school and discovers that someone entirely unpleasant runs it. That's about it, really. The big plot surprise is actually given away very early on by a whispered word on the soundtrack.

So it's not particularly violent and it hasn't got a story. Not much left is there. Apart from style and music. And this is where it shines. Literally shines.

The lighting produces such intensely saturated colours that it looks as though the television screen is about to burst under the strain. It really is glorious. The cinematographer, Luciano Tovoli (who also worked on Tenebrae) developed a style that suited Argento's desire to represent a fairy tale nightmarish vision. Supposedly a lot of mirrors and coloured gels were used to create the intensity of colours. The end sequence, awash with deep blacks and shining golds, is Tovoli's favourite part and it's easy to see why. Guillermo del Toro obviously loves it too. (Although Dario borrowed too from other directors, see if you can name the film and director this shot was a homage to.)

As with all Dario films, he loves to experiment with camera moves and new technology. In Suspiria he attached a camera to a wire and sent it zooming down towards an actor in the middle of a deserted square. It took a few attempts, due to camera smashage, but it looked pretty impressive when I first saw it. Nowadays, it's not quite so shiny. But there are plenty of other moments that are great even now; little things, like the shot of the sliding door mechanism as Suzy leaves the airport at the start. Dario's certainly a creative soul.

The production design also deserves a big mention in terms of the style of the film. I can't say that I'd ever want to go to ballet school - my hamstrings aren't that stretchy at the best of times - but I wouldn't want to set foot in this one. The wallpapers are so excessively busy and the colours so gaudy that gip projection would quickly ensue. But they perfectly suit Suspiria's lighting style and atmosphere.

The other major player in the atmosphere is the music. Written and performed by Goblin it has to be one of the finest and deliriously unsettling horror soundtracks. It also must be one of the loudest. If you set the volume of your audiovisual unit whilst listening to dialogue at an appropriate level to listen to, when the music kicked in your head would vibrate so hard, it would fall off. 

There is one scene in the middle where the atmosphere dissipates and the exposition goes on and on, slowing everything down to a standstill. A film without a story really doesn't need exposition even if it is delivered by Udo Kier. The whole section could be cut and the film wouldn't suffer.

When I started this Dario Season, I was expecting Suspiria to still be my favourite, but I think that it's been usurped by both Deep Red, and to a lesser extent, Tenebrae. In a film that relies so heavily on its style and the atmosphere it creates, whether you love it, like it or hate it depends on the effect of that style. For me, I still like it, but it's power has diminished.

(As for talks of a remake, why bother? Even if Natalie Portman might be attached to the main role.)
8/10
evlkeith



If you like this you could also try:
Deep Red, Tenebrae, Phenomena.

Review - Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979 - Dir. Lucio Fulci)

George A. Romero started the zombie ball rolling and he deserves a rather large salute. But I think it was an Italian director who perfected the zombie film with his run of four titles from 1979 to 1981. I'm talking about Lucio Fulci, of course and we'll start with his first masterpiece Zombie Flesh Eaters.

Anne Bowles (Tisa Farrow) is investigating the mysterious disappearance of her dad. She joins forces with reporter Peter West (Ian McCulloch). They set sail for the island of Matoul with Auretta Gay and Fulci regular Al Cliver, and become embroiled in some voodoo hi-jinx.

You may be smirking at the island's name, Matoul. And so was Dardano Sacchetti, the screenwriter. There are so many double entendres I began to lose count. Throw in a scene where Auretta Gay goes snorkelling in just her skimpy pants and it could virtually be Carry On Zombie.

Shark vs Zombie. Sounds cool. But stupid. It sounds more like an idea from Sharktopus and the Living Dead. And yet it is one of the most stunning scenes in the whole of the zombie genre. (It looks really good on Blu-ray.) The way that the zombie's hair moves in the water as he backs off preparing for the shark's attack is... beautiful.  Strange, but I can't think of a better word. If this was done now, the shark would obviously be CGI and would look rubbish. Fulci didn't have access to CGI so he just filmed a real shark with its trainer, who just so happened to be in a zombie costume. This is one of those scenes that I could happily watch whenever.

Another scene that I could watch whenever is the iconic splinter in the eyeball. For years, I'd only seen this in a heavily cut version. Then another version came out where you actually saw the eyeball pierced. Finally, common sense prevailed and we all got the chance to look at a piece of splintered wood being rammed into someone's eye. Okay, the special effect head doesn't exactly look perfect but when that final bit of eyeball gets pushed out at the end I can't help wincing. 

Fulci's zombie films rely on their atmosphere and he created it here by having sand blowing around everywhere on the island. It almost replaces fog as my favourite atmosphere generator. A shot in the final act of the film where zombie shamble out of the trees in glorious widescreen is again... beautiful. I would hold up this shot in a court of law as evidence for the case against running zombies.

The acting perfectly fits the tone of the film. Ian McCulloch looks like he's having a right laugh and makes a likeable lead. His face when he views four zombies eating a buffet is an absolute picture. Tisa Farrow seems to be there in body but not necessarily in spirit, although this doesn't seem out of place with all of the shocks she has to endure. It would have been interesting if Catriona MacColl had played the lead though...

For me this film has the perfect zombie effects. I don't know about you but if I was faced by an overly-designed and overly-professional zombie, as is often seen now in big-budget zombie-a-thons, I might be a tad nervous. Put one of the dirty, crusty maggot-ridden zombies from this film in front of me and I might need to change my Tena Gentleman. They look so... dead. Great stuff.

Out of Fulci's four top zombie films this has to be the comedy. It really is quite a light-hearted affair. The only thing that I really think it misses is another standout gore scene in the final third. All in all though, this is a film that is way better than its title would lead you to believe.
8/10
evlkeith



If you like this you could also try:
Zombie Holocaust, City of the Living Dead, The Beyond, The House by the Cemetery.

Review - Deep Red (1975 - Dir. Dario Argento)

Well, I waited and waited. And at no point during the whole running time did a pig flying a plane appear. I was severely disappointed and aggrieved. How I laughed when I realised that I'd been watching Profondo Rosso and not Porco Rosso. (Another similar, but true, story is that I thought Billy Elliott was a football film. I don't know where I got that from but I spent the whole film waiting for him to hang up his ballet shoes and put on some boots and shin pads. Stupid useless film.)

Enough of this larking around, let's get on to the film proper. I saw Deep Red about eighteen years ago in a freezing cold, grimy little house in Hull. It didn't really compare to my other Argento favourites at the time. So I haven't watched it since. Until now, for this special Dario Argento season. I must say that it's way better than I'd originally thought. 

Marcus Daly (David Hemmings - looking suspiciously like Rik Mayall) is a pianist who witnesses a murder. He teams up with ace reporter Gianna Brezzi (Daria Nicolodi) to discover the identity of the mysterious killer who funnily enough has a liking for black leather murdering gloves and keeping his/her face hidden.

Yep, we're in giallo territory and all of the usual giallo trappings are present and correct: logic that makes less sense than the answers on 3-2-1, the aforementioned murdering gloves, a preposterous central conceit that leads to the final reveal of the killer, great music (by Goblin - their first collaboration with Dario), heightened sound effects and, of course, stylishly shot murders.

It's not the goriest of offerings but it contains the Dario staple of slamming a lady's head through a plate glass window, a woman getting her head par-boiled in a bath and an incident where a mantlepiece meets a poor fellow's teeth at great velocity. The effects are all quite pleasant but the blisters on the face of the scald victim are particularly realistic.

But strangely I don't enjoy it for the killings - although they do help - I like it for two other reasons. The first is the creepy tension filled atmosphere when Marcus enters an old house at night and starts chipping away at a wall to reveal a painting. This scene lasts ages but the score and the slow reveal of the image keep it thoroughly engaging. My other reason is the relationship between the two leads, who are both supremely watchable throughout. At many times Deep Red plays more like a romantic comedy than a thriller. For evidence, look at any of the scenes that contain the tiny Lupin style car. This light-hearted feel adds a different flavour to a film that is very dark on occasions.

Deep Red falls a little foul of Argento's technical giddyness. Just as Opera was marred by steadicam overuse, Deep Red suffers from macro abuse. A few shots are okay but he does tend to overdo it a tad. But this film also shows Dario taking in wider influences (possibly introduced to him by Daria Nicolodi). One scene includes a virtual recreation of Edward Hopper's 'Nighthawks', even down to the way that the characters all sit perfectly still.

One last reason to watch this film: if you've seen Don't Look Now, one scene will be permanently engraved on your brain due to its ability to make the viewer squirm and back away from the screen. Deep Red has a similar moment with a deeply disturbing clockwork child-sized doll.

Deep Red has definitely gone up in the Dario rankings. It will be interesting to see how Suspiria and Tenebrae fare against it. (Inferno was one of my previous favourites but in a bizarre twist of events the uncut version has spoilt it for me. I really don't want to see a cat eating a live mouse. I prefer the cut version for once.)
9/10
evlkeith



If you like this you could also try:
Lizard in a Woman's Skin, Four Flies on Grey Velvet.

Review - Tombs of the Blind Dead (1972 - Dir. Amando de Ossorio)

This is a film that has been on my 'to watch' list for ages. The promise of hooded skeletal zombies charging about on horseback through fog filled ruins, all in glorious slow motion filled me with a palpable sense of anticipation. Surely this is an idea that can't go wrong...

Betty (Lone Fleming) is on a train trip with her 'just good friend' Roger (Roger by name...). They meet one of Betty's childhood friends, who just so happened to have had a lesbian fling with her, and Roger's trousers start to automatically unzip themselves in true Lupin style. Betty, not too happy with Roger's leering ways, decides to jump off the train and camp out in a creepy ruined temple where the evil Templar knights are buried.

The stars of this film are the zombies, funnily enough. They live up to their initial promise and are possibly the only reason why I would bother watching the other three films in the series. I never tired of them hunting down their prey and having a dainty nibble. Why there isn't a separate zombie-skeleton genre I don't know. Although it looks like Peter Jackson did a certain amount of homaging in Lord of the Rings. 

Tombs of the Blind Dead has that peculiar affliction of horror films where the behaviour of the characters can only be described as 'clinically mental'. When Betty finds that she is alone in the ruins. She takes off her hot pants, puts on her nightwear and hops into her sleeping bag. She relaxes with some music and a little read of her book. It's as if she's in a posh hotel for the night. Then she hears some strange noises. The hot pants go back on and she's ready for action. 

In true exploitation fashion, there is a completely unnecessary rape of the aforementioned lesbian by a moustachioed fellow. To make up for his wrongdoing he offers her a smoke. He's a true gentleman.

Again in true exploitation fashion, we are treated to a scene where a young woman (probably a witch, no doubt) is tied up and attacked by two knights on horseback. At first their sword swipes are pathetic. Barely tickling her, with not a hint of blood in sight. But the scene keeps going. And building. By the end there are some really nasty gashes on her stomach and other sensitive areas. 

Although it's not the goriest of zombie outings by a long stretch, there is just enough to keep the attention. There is an arm lopping (fair enough), an effective burning sequence and a climactic scene where a child gets covered in her mother's blood as the Templar's attack her. This is lingered on for a fair while and is not the most pleasant of things. From what I've heard though, the second instalment, Return of the Evil Dead, is a bit more on the bloody side.

I'm glad I've finally seen this due to some great atmospheric shots. But despite being pretty professionally shot, something seems to be lacking. Possibly a story. As the film drew to a close there was a definite sense that not much had really happened and that the Templars had a lot more to offer in terms of gory fun. I'm still in two minds as to whether to carry on with this series. We'll see... (And yes, that final image is from the film, despite looking as though it's crept in from a Mario Bava giallo.)
4/10
evlkeith

(Average rating for the season so far = 5.7)



If you like this you could also try:
Burial Ground: Nights of Terror, Return of the Evil Dead.