Review - Space Battleship Yamato (2010 - Dir. Takashi Yamazaki)

Based on the anime series from the seventies, Space Battleship Yamato is a live action space based actioneer. I've never seen the original anime so I can't comment on how well it translates from 2D. From looking at screenshots though it seems that the character and ship design are pretty much spot on.

The Earth is under attack from an alien race known as the Gamilas. The planet is generally in a radioactive state so the Earth Defense Force decide to launch a counter attack at the pesky aliens. After a severe whooping things go from bad to worse until some crafty alien tech falls (literally) into the hands of our human chums. They rebuild the Space Battleship Yamato using this new and fancy technology and go in search of Iskandar, the co-ordinates of which came with the alien tech.

Space Battleship Yamato reminds me of two films in particular - well, actually a lot more than two but I'll come to that soon. The first would be Hell's Ground, a little known zombie film hailing from Pakistan. This was a film that heavily borrowed from loads of other horror films, but did so in a way that was fun and entertaining. Space Battleship Yamato homages Star Wars, Battlestar Gallactica, Star Trek and to a lesser extent Serenity, and just about gets away with it. This is probably due to its desire to put on a large epic scale show despite a relatively meagre budget for this type of sci-fi thing ($23.9 million). I got carried away by the sheer exuberance of it all. Saying that, I'd be moaning if a big budget film had done the same. Maybe more time should have been spent at the script and planning stages to develop some more original ideas. That probably comes down to money though.

The other film it reminds me of is Casshern, another live action adaptation of an anime. Casshern is overlong and the pacing is all over the place. When I watch it I always end up slightly disappointed and think about what could have been if the editing had been different. Yet I still keep going back to it. Space Battleship Yamato feels very similar. The final act should be an action spectacular but it gets bogged down with lots of emotional chatting. It really drags. But again, I felt the need to watch it again.

This hasn't been too positive so far so you may be thinking, why bother watching it again. It does get some things right. The space battles, despite being way too short, are some of the best I've seen in years. They take their cue from bullet hell shooters and are suitably exhilarating with ships swooping through a barrage of laser fire. Admittedly the ships can do some pretty stupid things such as grow arms that can pick people out of space and give them a little cuddle, but that's all part of the fun.

The effects are pretty great too given the budget. They have stuck to one of the strengths of CGI: rendering hard metallic spaceships. There are some creatures and they don't look too hot but at least they are simple enough to be effective. They are normally only seen from a distance and in hordes so the effects don't come under too much close scrutiny. One of the highlights - and quite rightly so - has to be the reveal of the titular battleship as it rises from beneath the ground. It's a quality design and there's something delightfully quirky, in a Terry Gilliam way, of seeing what is basically a naval vessel charging about through space.

The characters are all fairly standard issue with only Yuki being that interesting (and I think that's only because she's stunningly attractive). Yet at the end, when little photos are shown in the credits of all the characters - many of which are killed within the film - I found myself looking back on them with fondness and wishing that they could all be in a sequel. There is something endearing about the whole production that is hard to put my finger on.

One example of this endearingness is also one of the funniest moments of the film. When something positive has happened in a space battle the action cuts back to the bridge and the characters cheer and give cheeky little fist pumps, yet it's all done without any accompanying music. It feels distinctly odd, but due to the fact that it happens about three times it gets funnier each time.

The music is also another source of quirk. When I watched some visual effects extras the soundtrack was playing along with the footage and I thought, crikey this music is pretty good. But in the film it's feels out of place at quite a few points, and at worst, exceedingly cheese ridden. There are also moments where you would expect music where it just doesn't appear (like the celebration scenes above). Again in all comes down to the editing.

Another positive though: the lead character Kodai has lovely luxurious locks.

It's hard for me to recommend this but it's struck a chord with me. I'm even considering shelling out £15 for the blu-ray.
6/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Any of the above films that it thieves from.

Review - King of Thorn (2009 - Dir. Kazuyoshi Katayama)

I was expecting great things from this. King of Thorn: a tale of one man's fight to turn a struggling South Yorkshire market town into a thriving canal boat metropolis whilst wearing a shiny king hat. Wait, it says here that it's about a horrific virus that turns people to stone (the Medusa virus) and some nonsense about some people getting cryogenically frozen until they can find a cure, but when they wake things have gone a bit pear shaped. So nothing to do with reopening Woolworths then. Shame.

Actually it starts off really well. The virus is suitably chilling and the way that the story of Sleeping Beauty is weaved in to the characters being frozen, maybe for a hundred years, is all quite intriguing. When Kasumi, a young girl selected to be one of the survivors, wakes up things really kick off and I was thinking that this could well be an anime to buy and add to my collection. Many questions are raised during this first part: is it all a dream, what has it all got to do with a game that a little boy is playing, and has the shady corporation created the virus for its own evil ends? All questions that initially kept me engaged.

Then it all dissolves into a big mess. The story quickly becomes virtually unintelligible and I couldn't have really cared less about answering the questions. I could roughly follow the plot but it was hard work. All of the talk about dreams, games and Sleeping Beauty quickly becomes overdone and increasingly tiresome. It doesn't help that it's way too long at nearly two hours. Things are explained (kind of) at the end and it hints at something altogether better if the script had been a tad clearer. It's based on a manga by Yuji Iwahara, and it's entirely possible that a familiarity with this would help massively.

The traditional 2D animation is gorgeous and almost worth watching for that alone. There's something about watching a new anime on shiny blu-ray. Everything is so crisp and fluid. Then we get to the abomination that is the CGI animation. Now, I happen to think that CGI can work really well within anime; just look at Oblivion Island, Appleseed: Ex Machina or Vexille. But here it's terrible. It looks like it's running at a frame rate of 12 frames per second; it's all so jerky. This completely trashes the quality feel generated by the 2D work.

The best thing about King of Thorn has to be Marco Owen, a prisoner who is chosen for the project. He's massive and charges about punching and shooting stuff. And he says his name a lot. Things generally pick up when he gets into some action.

Apart from a promising start and Marco Owen things are pretty bleak. I normally save anime for times when I want to watch something that will at least get a 6/10 rating. This has left me feeling rather disappointed. 
3/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Origin: Spirits of the Past, Princess Mononoke.

Review - Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (1961 - Dir. Irwin Allen)

When I decided to put Joan Fontaine into the FA Cup of Actors I was expecting to randomly generate a quality black and white offering along the lines of Rebecca or Letter From an Unknown Woman. But no, what turns up but a slice of action from the disputed master of disaster, Irwin Allen.

Admiral Nelson (Walter Pidgeon) takes his new nuclear sub for a test run when, surprise, surprise, the Van Allen radiation belt gets set on fire, causing the Earth to heat up in an alarming fashion. He comes up with a plan to solve this minor problem and in true American style it involves blowing stuff up with missiles. In his quest he is backed up by Captain Crane (Robert Sterling) and Dr. Susan Hiller (Joan Fontaine) who is a guest on the sub, investigating what happens to people's mental health under severe pressure.

Seeing as though I only watched this for Joan Fontaine, it's a bit disappointing where she's concerned. Despite being the film's leading lady she doesn't get a close up for the first half hour. Saying that, there's not much to get a close up of. She spends the whole film looking like a local dignitary opening a new museum of which they have zero knowledge or interest. To say that she is distant is an understatement. 

The film creates a suitably under water atmosphere due to the sets and the miniatures. It shows the magic of film when some dubious model work and shaking the camera around can create the sense of a crew working under the sea. Saying that there is a shocking scene where an octopus attacks a few members of the crew who are out in their diving gear. They basically roll themselves up in its tentacles and look a bit scared. The editing is partly to blame as it lingers for an age on a useless long shot. When it cuts quickly between close up shots of the action, things improve immeasurably and it actually looks fairly convincing.

Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea plods along at an okay pace, throwing new challenges at the crew: a saboteur, other subs trying to scupper their plans, and the sight of Barbara Eden dancing in a slightly deranged fashion. But if you want to watch a film about a fiery end to the world give the superior The Day the Earth Caught Fire a go instead. A disappointing entry for Joan Fontaine, but will Barbara Crampton be able to capitalise on her defensive slip ups and power through to the next round. Find out soon...
3/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
The Day the Earth Caught Fire, The Towering Inferno, The Poseidon Adventure.

Review - Run Lola Run (1998 - Dir. Tom Tykwer)

(To increase your enjoyment by a factor of 2.35 when reading this review have a listen to a lovely bit of Kool & the Gang - evlkeith.)

This is a low key German offering with the faint aroma of Groundhog Day permeating its soul. Lola (Franka Potente) must run to save her dodgy boyfriend Manni (Moritz Bleibtreu) from certain death, after gormlessly leaving a gangster’s substantial wedge of drug money on the tube. Why she bothers to save him I have no idea, because she could seriously do better, but she tries anyway. Over three distinct episodes she tries, tries and tries again, each time making subtle differences to each separate reality.

It’s well made and relatively enjoyable, but it leaves you mysteriously unsatisfied. Obviously there’s lots of frantic running from Lola as she dashes about breaking the laws of time and space. This is fine, but her outfit is woefully inappropriate for the task and you really want her to get changed into some gym kit for her subsequent outings. Sadly this never enters her head and the horrible tattoo around her belly button doesn’t help matters. The sub-plot of her father’s mysterious relationship is a welcome and interesting embellishment, but it’s unfortunately only short respite from the breathless pounding of those streets.

It’s cleverly plotted to an extent, but there’s little of the time travelling wow factor of Timecrimes or even Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban. It’s a clinical but underwhelming experience, and this isn’t helped by the superficial main characters who are neither likeable or particularly nasty. In the end we are left ambivalent to their fate(s) as the film performs like a mid table Bundesliga team; efficient yet without the creativity to climb the table.

It’s not a terrible film, but it falls under the most damning of categories; somewhere between faint praise and mildly annoying. Yes it’s mediocre! It neither offends nor enlightens. Watch with limited expectations at best.

3/10 
Doccortex

If you like this you could also try:
Good Bye Lenin, The Lives of Others.

Review - Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991 - Dir. Sylvio Tabet)

Jeffrey Combs was off his usual form in his entry in the FA Cup of Actors, Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation (only receiving a rating of 2/10) so this round is all for the taking. Although when I saw that Marc Singers attempt at goal was Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time I was dreading another replay. I saw this when it was first released and was disappointed in it to say the least. The original Beastmaster is a bit of a classic but the sequel just dumbs everything down and plays it for cheesy laughs.

Watching it again now isn't such a bad experience. I actually quite enjoyed the late eighties/early nineties cheese factor. It is certainly more enjoyable than Combs' entry. I'm finding at the moment that I would rather watch something of this ilk than a more worthy film like 12 Years a Slave. It's no doubt a good, thought provoking film but I'm much happier watching a bloke falling forty foot and landing in the seat of an open-topped car without even bumping his coccyx.

It's got a really stupid plot too: (Jim Wynorski was involved in the writing, after all) Beasty is told early on that he has to find his lost brother before the Autumn equinox or the world will end. Cilla Black never had that kind of pressure on Surprise, Surprise. His quest involves him going through the titular portal into modern day L.A. and suffice to say, lots of fish out of water hi-jinx take place.

His modern day chum to guide him through this minefield is spoilt teenager Jackie Trent (Kari Wuhrer - who I remember from Stuart Gordon's King of the Ants, can't think why?) and initially she's every bit as annoying as you'd expect. She does come round to being slightly more likeable in the end and even gets a couple of furry little presents from our bestial buddy. Sadly she doesn't do a Tanya Roberts (or for that matter wear a costume like the one on the cover).

Every great animal loving hero needs an evil Ginsters eating villain and here it is Arklon (played by Wings Wauser of Mutant fame). He is a complete panto villain with mucho swooshing of his cape and general charging about laughing like a maniac. One of the funniest scenes involves him in a department store acquiring some new clothes from a rather camp manager. Predictably enough, it all ends in tears. In another mildly amusing scene he blasts some huge rocks with his laser (?) and they proceed to roll around crushing all and sundry under their gigantic mass of polystyrene.

Marc Singer fits back into the role of Beast Boy easily, although this time he seems to be more of a passenger. He gets to swish his sword around in trademark style but it's not given as much weight as you'd expect. It's a little bit throwaway. Even so, he's eminently watchable. And you'd have thought that being an animal lover he'd be a vegetarianialist. Well you'd be mistaken. He tucks straight into a gorgeous slice of Pek with gusto. I wonder if he can feel what the Pek feels and see what the Pek sees as it slips down into his belly.

Not content with showcasing the work of such stars as Singer, Hauser and Wuhrer, there are also appearances from Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop) and Sarah Douglas (Superman II) who gets the most screen time as a witchly companion to Arklon.

Don't expect this to be anywhere near as great as the original and you shouldn't come away too disgruntled. It's good enough to put Marc Singer through to the next round of the FA Cup of actors and sadly we have to say goodbye to Jeffrey Combs.
4/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could try:
The Beastmaster, Beastmaster: The Eye of Braxus.

Review - The Ark of the Sun God (1984 - Dir. Antonio Margheriti)

The first match in our FA Cup of Actors kicks off with a cheeky back heel from David Warbeck in the form of The Ark of the Sun God. But will it be enough to quash Radha Mitchell's attempts at winning the trophy in its very first year?

It starts off pretty well with wise-cracking thief Rick Spear (Warbeck) walking in the footsteps of the Milk Tray man, lurking in shadows and sneaking into a building. He even gets to use a zip wire in his burgling antics. Action packed stuff with a little twist at the end of this first act. Quite cheap and cheerful but entertaining nonetheless. 

Then things take a turn for the worst. There's about forty or fifty minutes of characters getting abducted, then found again, then abducted, then found etc. It all gets a bit tiresome and the story goes absolutely nowhere. Finally it gets moving again with a quest to find a sceptre that belonged to the god Gilgamesh. Mmm, a quest for a religious artefact... you're probably thinking exactly the same as me: I wonder when Raiders of the Lost Ark came out. It was 1981, and yep, this is an Italian homage/cash-in directed by Antonio Margheriti of Cannibal Apocaplyse fame. 

Compared to Raiders, this comes off really badly. As mentioned previously, it takes an age for Rick to actually pack his bags and get going on his journey. And when he does it's a very short trip: nip in a helicopter, fly a bit, have a little walk and he's there. Seeing as though it's an adventure film there's precious little adventuring.

The villains are pretty low quality ineffectual buffoons too. Their leader is not much better. No subtlety here. Just plenty of ranting and shouting. I don't think Belloq has got anything to worry about.

But it's got David Warbeck in it so it can't be all bad. Funnily enough, he's the best thing about this lacklustre adventure fest. For starters, he tells his lady friend that he's off out to do "man's work". And when he returns from his mission at about 7 o'clock in the morning, he's just in time for a bit of nookie. What a guy. Adding to his manliness is his propensity to wear beautiful clothes along the lines of an eighties style jacket with sky blue trousers. And not content with that, his favourite drink is Bacardi with milk and lots of crushed ice. What kind of sick deviant would like that?!? (Doccortex, the milk pervert, probably would.)

And that's not the end of things that are actually quite good in this film. John Steiner (Tenebrae) appears as a posh English wheelchair bound millionaire type who is willing to fund Rick's adventure. It's a treat to see him in action as usual. Plus he's got a camp butler called Rupert who's "rather good at tying people up". Yeah, I bet he is.

Although it's not a total own goal extravaganza, it's not the best of starts for David Warbeck and I can sense that Radha Mitchell isn't exactly quaking in her boots based on this performance. But it all depends on her randomly selected film, there may still be a late minute winner from Warbeck...
3/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Treasure Hunter, Armour of God, Operation Condor.

Review - Portrait of Jennie (1948 - Dir. William Dieterle)

I was chatting to someone today about a film that I'd watched last night. When the subject of it being a black and white film came up, the person in question said, "I don't watch black and white films." I knew he liked horror stuff so I enquired as to whether he'd seen Psycho. Nope. 

Black and white photography is fine and often seen in wedding albums. It is even referred to as contemporary. 

But black and white films are rarely made, probably due to the fact that they won't make any money. I've seen eyes glaze over and brains switch off as soon as a black and white film appears on the telly. 

There is a huge barrier that could all be down to the perception of black and white films as being dull. Granted, the pace is slower, but the stories are arguably better than anything that's being knocked out today. How many films have you seen that have a great start, then peter out towards the end as the writer discovers they haven't got a clue what the film is about. They just had a great initial idea.

Crikey, I better get round to the film: Portrait of Jennie. This could be a perfect entry point for black-and-white-o-phobes because the end scenes have been colour tinted. In green. And some are even in red. There's even one shot that's in full technicolour. Ooooh. (An even easier entry point could be Pleasantville. It was made relatively recently and it's got some colour scenes too. I spoil you.)

Eben Adams (Joseph Cotten) is a struggling artist trying to bring home the Pek. One day he meets a girl, Jennie (Jennifer Jones) in a park and is inspired by her. Now, I'm not entirely sure how old she's supposed to be, but let's be generous: she's 16. He looks about 45. If not 50. Eben becomes obsessed with Jennie. You can see where this is going. Let's not forget the time that this was made in. Couples were supposed to wait until marriage before they started doing rudes. So the occurrence of an older man falling in love with a younger girl and then waiting for her was fine at the time. A similar relationship appears in Random Harvest. So everything's fine... Oh, okay. He's a paedo.

But there's a fantasy element to this seedy tale. What starts out as a dubious love story evolves into a mystery and then an adventure as Eben tries to discover just what the hell is going on with Jennie. By the end we are treated to some miniature work which results in the emotional climax of the film. Pretty affecting stuff. The impact of the final colour shot is fairly huge too. If it had all been in colour, it would hardly be noticed. The contrast is attention grabbing. (The Hindenburg pulls a similar trick with even greater aplomb.)

Watched with eyes in 1940s mode, ignoring the slightly dodgy perversions of the main character, Portrait of Jennie would make an interesting double bill with Vertigo. All of the actors perform admirably too (Ethel Barrymore is a treat as always as the owner of an art studio). It turned into something that I wasn't expecting, which pumps up the rating, especially when the something else is better than what came before. So if you're like the fellow at the start of this review, dive into the world of black and white and see what you think. It's like olives. The more you eat, the nicer they get.
7/10
evlkeith



If you like this you could also try:
The Mist (black and white version), Psycho, Vertigo, Anatomy of a Murder, The Whisperer in Darkness