Review - Der Fan (1982 - Dir. Eckhart Schmidt)

Here we go then with the final part in our coverage of Celluloid Screams 2013:

Simone (Désirée Nosbusch) is a teenager obsessed with a top German popstar called R (a bit like a mixture between Gary Numan and Kraftwerk). She's completely insane. She writes to him regularly, declaring her love for him and how happy they will be together when they finally meet. And finally meet they do, and things don't quite turn out as she'd wanted.

This is a tale of obsession and neurosis that is particularly uncomfortable to watch due to the young age of the main character. She spends roughly half the film naked. Désirée Nosbusch wasn't too happy with the scenes either and tried to stop its release, but she failed and the full director's cut was available for all. This is a film that wouldn't get made now in its current form. 

Saying that, it's not a bad film. Admittedly any kind of horror content doesn't kick in for a long while but it's worth waiting for. It is quite slow moving and that's okay with me if there is enough of interest along the way and the ending delivers. Which it does. I didn't even mind the almost non-acting. It all adds to the feeling that both of them have got completely empty lives.

It's interesting watching this in the current climate of Operation Yewtree and a culture obsessed with celebrities and their lifestyles. I doubt that much has really changed since 1982, except now the self-obsessed R would have an iPhone to take selfies.

This is one of those films that I'm glad that I've seen, the ending will stay with me for a long time, but I can't say that I'm that keen on watching it again.
6/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Vertigo, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not.

Review - Big Bad Wolves (2013 - Dir. Aharon Keshales, Navot Papushado)

Following on from Der Fan, this is another film about a paedophile. Well, more a suspected paedophile. If Der Fan is relevant because of Operation Yewtree, then Big Bad Wolves is relevant due to the recent case of Bijan Ebrahimi. He had taken photos of some teenagers trashing his hanging baskets. The locals immediately jumped to the conclusion that he was a paedophile. They ending up beating and burning him to death. Ironically, the newspapers that have made stacks of cash creating a climate where this could happen, made stacks more cash by putting the story on the front pages. Big Bad Wolves hinges on whether one man is a paedophile or not.

Dror is an R.E. teacher. The police think he's a paedo, so they take him to a quiet and secluded space and give him a good hiding. They are trying the find the location of his dead victims' heads. Things go wrong for Miki, one of the police officers, he's put on traffic duty and Dror is released. There is one more player to enter this tale: the father of the latest victim, Eli.

Despite being a film about torturing suspected paedophiles, it is very funny; it's not torture porn. I like a bit of black comedy and this has got liberal doses of it throughout. In reality, even during periods of extreme unpleasantness and stress, there are times when humour is the only way to cope with a situation. This is similar in style to the under-rated The Horseman. That film had a strong central performance and this has three.

The only problem I had with the script was the baking of the cake. I can see why they needed to do it to further the story, but it didn't seem likely that Eli would make a cake at that point.

No evidence is ever given, one way or the other, to suggest whether Dror has committed the crimes. I was constantly torn between empathising with Eli, but then I thought that Dror might be innocent. So my empathy switched to him, but he could be guilty. My allegiances swapped again. The mystery is finally revealed with a satisfying ending. Again, it's another film that I enjoyed but I don't think I'll be buying it. Maybe a rental could be on the cards though.
7/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
The Horseman.

Review - Almost Human (2013 - Dir. Joe Begos)

This year's secret film was Almost Human and supposedly lots of other festivals were after it. Not sure why, really.

Seth and Mark see some bright lights in the sky and Mark gets abducted and anal probed (possibly). A few years later Mark returns and grizzly murders start to occur. As does some cocooning action. (And no, Don Ameche doesn't have a cameo.) 

Billed as a mixture of The Thing and Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Almost Human is nowhere near as good as either. It's more like a cross between something dull and something excruciatingly dull smothered with the dullest of gravy.

I found it strange that after the first ten seconds, I'd already decided that there was a limit on how high a rating this could achieve (a six, tops). The acting is so bad and amateurish, and yet they take it seriously. Bad acting can be good if it's backed up by comedy, or creative gore (Bad Taste?). This has neither. It hasn't even got anything approaching a good story. It has elements from the two aforementioned films yet they're just a mess here.

It's full of inconsistencies too. At one point Michael snaps someone's neck in a jiffy. A bit later on, when he has a tussle with Seth, he completely forgets this talent. He also has a habit of forgetting his screaming power that has the capacity to incapacitate people. Idiot.

It's not necessarily an irritating film. None of the characters really get on my nerves. It's just that they're all personality bypasses. I don't think it's done them any favours being compared to two classics. The poster doesn't help either, it actually makes it look vaguely exciting. Any kind of fun, tension or horror would have livened this up. As it is this is probably my least favourite film of this year's festival. (Yes, even worse than The Strange Colour of Your Body's Tears.) At least I can be thankful that it wasn't as bad as previous terrible entries: Snowtown, V/H/S and Entity (starring that Blake's 7 villain, Derverlar Kirwans).
2/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
The Thing and Invasion of the Body Snatchers obviously.

Review - Delivery (2013 - Dir. Brian Netto)

Delivery tries to do something very difficult: be a slow-burner where the slow burn lasts for the entire film. It takes a masterpiece to pull that off (The Wicker Man, for instance). This also has the disadvantage that it's a found footage style film, a genre I'm not incredibly enamoured by.

Things start off okay with Laurel and Danny expecting a new baby. In true reality TV style they agree to a crew coming in to film the whole beautiful process. The first part of the film is the pilot for the programme. At the end of the pilot, an element of doubt creeps into the proceedings. Eventually Laurel suspects that she's giving birth to a demon. The rest of the film is edited from supposedly unaired footage.

The director was very brave to go for an ambiguous approach. It's never spelt out whether the demon is real or if it's all in Laurel's head, which sounds interesting enough. Where it falls flat is the way that this leads to virtually zero scares (I say virtually because there is one cracker that comes towards the end). Tension is built up at times and I was thinking that they were going to milk it for all that it's worth, but then it cuts to another shot and the tension is completely lost. The drama - carried by natural performances from the two main characters - wasn't enough to carry the film and it needed a bit of something extra.

Similar in style to Lake Mungo but not a patch on it. It's a film that has the spectre of Paranormal Activity hanging over it and the expectations that that entails. Points for trying something different, but it didn't work for me.
3/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Lake Mungo.

Review - Discopath (2013 - Dir. Renaud Gauthier, Marie-Claire Lalonde)

This was one film I wasn't looking forward to. I didn't know anything about it apart from the title. But it sounded like someone came up with a catchy title and based a film around it. The film comes across like that too.

Before the viewing the director introduced the film and told the projectionist to turn the volume up to maximum. This was a good move because the music is easily the best thing about it. Probably worth seeing just for the music in fact.

Set in the 70s (looks pretty authentic to me too), Duane Lewis is a shy young fellow who - due to a traumatic childhood experience - gets all killy whenever he hears disco. (I can understand this because I get all killy whenever I hear show tunes. Or Martine McCutcheon. In fact I go Super Hyper Slashy Turbo Killy Unlimited when Martine McCutcheon sings show tunes.) Yep, Discopath is as stupid as it sounds, but it's reasonably entertaining. It verges on style over substance ,but nowhere near to the same extent as everyone's favourite (oh, do I have to type it all again?) The Strange Colour of Your Body's Tears. 

I know that this was the last film, and I was suffering from severe sleep deprivation, but I can't remember much about it, if anything. I can picture Duane running away in a quality seventies outfit, but I think this is only because they repeated it. And someone does a bit of roller skating too. And Duane cooks burgers badly. That's about it. 

So there we are at the end of Celluloid Screams 2013 and it's ended as it started with a slice of just below averageness. Great music though.
4/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Saturday Night Fever, Disco Godfather.

Feature - Celluloid Screams Post Match Chat

And so ends another Celluloid Screams. This year has pretty much been on a par with last year, except without the really bad offerings. I can't say that I've seen anything really good (never mind awesome). Although that holds true for new films that I've seen in general this year. Big Bad Wolves would have to be my favourite (it also won the audience vote this year) but I've got a suspicion that Painless may grow on me and end up above it in my top ten of the year. 

The short films were a mixed bunch, as usual, but my recommendations would have to be Butterflies, a stop motion animation about commercialism vs. creativity, Cat Sick Blues, a creepy little film about a bloke in a cat mask following a young couple home, Jack Attack, a well-made Halloween story, and Angst, Piss & Drid, a cheerful tale of two serial killers.

The allnighter was good fun. I wish that I hadn't grabbed a couple of hours sleep. I felt way worse after a kip. Next year I think I'll just go straight through. It may be better to have the allnighter on the Friday night ,then I wouldn't have been quite so tired. Or have one in about May time, that would split up the year nicely. Better still, do both.

Despite some bland films, the whole experience was great, as usual. Now I've got all of these reviews done I'm going to have a little rest. (Until I've got to review the next zombie film in our Year of the Dead season this Friday.) Also there will be some exciting news coming soon about what we've got planned for next year. And no, it's not vampires.

evlkeith

Review - The Battery (2012 - Dir. Jeremy Gardner)

Here we go then with Part Two of our Celluloid Screams 2013 coverage. The final reviews will be posted tomorrow night. Let's kick off with The Battery.

Being a film named after a baseball term is not good. The UK equivalent of baseball is rounders. And no-one watches or plays rounders once they've left school. Cricket, rugby, football, yes, rounders, no. It gets completely forgotten. Because it's rubbish. This could do with a remake where the main character has a cricket bat and some stumps. After the first innings they could get their wives to knock up a cracking cricket tea with fatty ham and malt loaf. Gorgeous. Then after the match they could leave their wives washing up and get straight down to the club for a few beers, leaving their children outside in the car with a bag of crisps and a glass of orange squash. If they're lucky.

The Battery is actually okay despite the baseball link. Two blokes Ben and Mickey are trying to survive the zombie apocalypse. Their plan is to keep moving. Well, Ben's plan is to keep moving. Mickey, being a bit on the romantic side, would rather bed down in a house for the night with a lovely lady. That's when the problems start.

A lot of people really rated this (it did come second in the audience vote after all). I'm not quite as impressed. It does well in focusing on the drama between the two characters rather than the zombies. I think I've wittered on about this before that zombie films are like Big Brother. They're not about fancy gimmicks and tweaks to the formula. They're about interactions between people. Put an interesting mix of people in the house or in a zombie apocalypse and you've got the basis for something special. Big Brother and a lot of zombie films forget this. The problem for me with The Battery was that the drama didn't interest me enough. It possibly needed editing to tighten things up a bit. One shot near the end when Ben is stuck in the car - and I can understand why they did it - went on a smidgen too long for my liking. Editing wouldn't have helped here though as it's all done in one shot.

It would have also benefitted from finishing a few shots sooner. Once Ben has his plan it would have been interesting to end there and leave it open. More post-film discussion would have been possible. As it is it's still pretty open but less so. 

For me this was an average experience. Admittedly they've done really well with a tiny budget, (it's way better than certain huge budget films like Prometheus and Pacific Rim and many other recent zombie films) but I can't escape the fact that it dragged for me. If they do a sequel get someone in cricket pads and I'm sold.
5/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead.

Review - Jug Face (2013 - Dir. Chad Crawford Kinkle)

I was hoping that Jug Face would be about someone who has clay-like skin, a handle sticking out the back of their head and their mouth filled with gravy. It's not.

Ada (Lauren Ashley Carter) lives in a small community of shine drinking hillbillies. They worship a pit and regularly give it sacrifices. To find out who the next sacrifice is, the village potter receives a message from the pit and knocks up a jug (and here comes the reason for the title) with the face of the person to be next for the chop. I'd just slip him a tenner and a couple of raccoon hides to keep my face off any jugs. Ada isn't too keen on all of this malarkey, for numerous reasons, so tries to escape.

Despite it being about hillbillies it doesn't have many of the things you'd expect: no cannibalism, no deformed faces, and no making unwary travellers squeal like pigs. You do get moonshine drinking and incest for the entrance fee though. 

The best thing about Jug Face is the touching relationship between Ada and the potter Dawai (Sean Bridgers). It feels incredibly natural due to some cracking performances. I also liked how the killings were slightly surreal and suggested, rather than filmed in a more conventional way. They were still brutal yet different from standard fare.

On the downside, the ending should have been emotionally powerful. It wasn't. There was nothing wrong with the script or the acting, all the ingredients were there for a great finish. Except one. The music. The soundtrack did nothing to enhance the feelings created by the visuals. It just knocked about in the background shiftily trying to look (sound?) unobtrusive. Imagine the end of The Beyond without the music. It would be pretty average. Same with this.

If you fancy something original and a change from zombies, vampires and flesh eating rapist mountain men etc, this could well be up your street.
6/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
The Wicker Man, Big Jugs Jubilee 10.

Review - Chimeres (2013 - Dir. Olivier Beguin)

It's a bit on the unfair side for me to review this; I don't like vampire films. The closest I get to liking one is probably Near Dark or Dracula (1958) though even then I'm not overly impressed. Vampires hold no interest for me. That's just the way it is. Nevertheless, review it I will.

Alex (Yannick Rosset) is a photographer with an upcoming show at a gallery approaching. Unfortunately he has a minor accident that results in him being given a blood transfusion. From a vampire. Possibly.

That's part of the fun of this film, thinking about whether he is a real vampire or it's all in his head. Once this mystery is solved things take a distinct turn for the worse. It's a shame because the performance from his girlfriend Livia (Jasna Kohoutova) is very watchable. She sells the fact that she'll do anything for Alex very well, apart from when we get to the stupid ending. But that's more the writer's fault than hers. I won't comment on Rossets performance because he's (possibly) a vampire and I don't like vampires. One bit though - and again it's not his fault - is very irritating: the flashes of his supposed vampire face in the mirror. Visually he's just the same as virtually every other vampire and these flashes occur regulary. Very regularly. They somehow don't fit in with the tone of the rest of the film.

There is a nice little twist at the end and the film should have stopped straight after it. Instead we're treated to some bizarre vampire action that isn't in keeping with the overall feel of the proceedings. Kung fu. How comes vampires always know kung fu? (Except Christopher Lee, maybe.) It's rubbish and spoilt it for me. The very final shots pull it round and it finishes on a high note thankfully.

Despite not liking vampire films, this wasn't too painful. As a bonus Catriona MacColl is in it too as Alex's mum which means it can't be all bad.
4/10
evlkeith

If you like this you could also try:
Near Dark, Dracula (1958).